Dating in Jakarta vs the Philippines

When I was in Thailand I didn’t really do much dating. I put in a bit of effort and had a bit of success on dating sites and meeting girls at malls, but I didn’t give it a full go really.

Jakarta is different, the girls on Indonesia Cupid are much easier to talk to then Thai girls and they are not shy at all about meeting up. It is actually very similar to the Philippines in many ways, but with less English spoken.

I was only in Jakarta for a month so my sample size is small, but I definitely noticed some trends that were a lot different about it. Some of them were good, some were not. Lets start with the good.

Less Flaky and Don’t Play Games

Don’t read this as Jakarta girls aren’t flaky and don’t play games. Everywhere you go there will be some flaky people. But the Filipinas take it to a whole nother level.

I have heard Colombians are the flakiest girls on the planet, and even from guys that have also been to the Philippines. I have to see it to believe it.

The girls in Jakarta were much more straight forward. If they didn’t want to hang out they actually had the ability to say no. Never a ‘next time’ or a ‘yes’ and no reply when the time came which are the standard replies when you ask a Pinay.

There were some times when girls made plans to hang out days in advance and then when the day came they backed out, but again that will happen anywhere. But if you text a girl in the day and she says she wants to hang out that night and she will be there.

This simple fact alone has me wanting to give Jakarta a long term shot even though it is a bit more expensive and the visa is 10 times worse.

There were 2 ‘Pinay like’ girls that stand out. One texts me after she gets off work after we had texted the past few days. I invite her over and she shows up around 9pm.

She gets close to my place and texts me to say she is near and then says she has to leave by 9:30 because she has a conference call for work. I hate the 30 minute stop by. Since I had banged every other girl that had showed up at that point except 1 I made a quick move that was unsuccessful.

Another girl made plans to hang out with me on her off day twice and broke them both times (plans were made days before.) Then when she finally agreed to come over she shows up with a friend and asks me what mall we are going to.

I had made it very clear that I didn’t want to go out because of traffic and that I had got her dinner to eat at my place. I was like sorry I don’t wanna go and never talked with her again.

Other then that though flakyness and games were non existent. The girls were eager to meet and things pretty much always went smoothly when you met. Some times they would take forever to get there but that’s the traffic’s fault.

The girls put out at pretty much the same rate as you will get in the Philippines. If a girl comes to your room you are almost assured to get something out of it.

Is This Good Or Bad?

Now for another difference that I am not sure if it is good or bad. I had 4 virgins come over. That is a RIDICULOUS number for one month. I can only remember 1 girl in 3 years in Phils telling me she was a virgin and I don’t really believe her.

The question becomes do I really believe these girls in Jakarta were virgins? Yes I do. I took one girls virginity and I would say I am 90% sure she was a virgin.

We played around in bed all day and I played with her clit for over an hour. Then we went out to eat and came back and started up again. She slowly made her way on top of me to play ‘just the tip’ and eventually slid down.

If she was acting and lying then she is an amazing actress. I don’t see why she would go through all of that….. I guess it is possible. In the morning when we tried to bang again she said it hurt and we stopped. The first time there was no pain cuz she was totally lubed up after being turned on all day.

Another one of the virgins I am 99.99% sure on. We made out for an hour and she was on her period. I really am not sure if she even wanted to kiss or anything, she was just trying to make me happy I think. She wouldn’t do a bj, all I got was a handjob.

The third was a muslim girl who wore one of the headscarves. She was actually a pretty huge bitch and returned her food twice when we ate at the cafe at my apartment saying it wasn’t good. Can never imagine a Pinay returning food at a resto.

I wasn’t sure what was going on when we first met, I thought it was going to be a failed date for sure. She didn’t like me sitting close to her and was just not all that pleasant of a person.

Then we got to my room and within 15 minutes we were making out. She told me she was a virgin so I just played with her clit for a bit and then she gave me head. It was probably the worst head I have ever had in my life.

The 4th one came over the night I met her off Indo Cupid. She had a very curvy hourglass figure without being fat and was wearing a really sexy black dress. I gave her a hug and liked her body so much I stayed close to it all night.

I tried to watch It’s Always Sunny with her but they talked so fast she couldn’t understand. 5 minutes into the show we had already been so touchy feely and were cuddling so close that I made a move way too soon.

We made out for awhile, I tried to slide her panties off and that’s when she said she was a virgin. She wouldn’t let the panties come off but enjoyed me rubbing through them and they were sopping in no time.

Another bj from her. 3 of these girls I met off Indo Cupid, the handjob girl I met at a mall. Is getting virgins to come to your room a good thing? I mean I guess if you are busting a nut each time the answer has to be yes.

It just seems odd that I had 4 in a month, and 4 of the 11 I hooked up with in Jakarta were virgins. I think long term this is going to leave you getting blueballed a bit to often, but when it goes well it really goes well.

We’ve Got a Bleeder

Again another odds defying thing is how many girls came over on their period. Of the 11 girls I hooked up with I can remember at least 4 that were on their period.

This wasn’t them just saying they were on their period to not fuck, all 4 of them were fine with making out and doing stuff. I got 3 bj’s and an hj from them.

My sample size is small here again, but that is a huge percent! Over 1/3 of the girls. In the Philippines girls generally won’t come over on their ‘red day’ as they will be to lazy to go out. That or they only plan on coming over when they can get fucked.

Since I prefer blowjobs to sex anyways this wasn’t a big deal, but it is definitely a major difference from what I experienced in the Philippines.

Muslim Girls

I already mentioned the head scarf wearing girl before. Outside of her I had a few others over that talked about being Muslim. I am not racist and couldn’t care less about religion.

However I do know that I have read a lot on message boards about it being a ‘Muslim country’ so thought I would way in here. There was only one time where this was a factor, but it was really more of an excuse then a factor.

On one of my last days in town I was finally able to get another girl I had met at a mall over after texting with her a lot. She was quite attractive and I was very happy when she agreed to come.

She didn’t speak much English and really wanted to bring a friend but obv I wasn’t having that. When she showed up she asked where we were going because ‘her religion’ doesn’t allow her to be alone in a room with a man.

I explained that I had already told her in text that we were hanging out here and she had agreed so its OK we will just watch a movie. We sit on the bed and she sits as far away from me as humanly possible.

I try and get closer and closer and she says ‘her religion’ needs her to have distance between us. She just wants to chat but she can’t really speak English and keeps pulling out an app to try and talk.

She mentions her boyfriend and how we must keep distance. I realize this is never going to go anywhere no matter what so I just keep going closer and closer.

Either I get a 1 in a million shot where she puts out or she leaves. She left…… the most I had done was put my arm around her shoulder. Usually they don’t leave until you go in for a kiss.

Outside of that the other Muslim girls were up for having fun.

Not As Good At English

I just mentioned the texting app and there were quite a few girls like that. Probably a bit better English than in Thailand but not by much.

One 18 year old girl who spoke basically no English off Indo Cupid came over the day after I first messaged her. We had a bit of a boring where you from style chat then watched ten minutes of a movie before….

The lack of English doesn’t seem to be to big of a deal since the girls are pretty aggressive when it comes to meeting. If they say they are worried about it just remind them that you are their friend not their boss and you won’t judge them.

Overall It’s About the Same

It is a little harder to talk to them but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. They are less flaky and more straight forward which is great.

Indonesian Cupid is just as good as Filo Cupid. The malls are more profitable in the Philippines and while I am not a disco goer I would assume discos/clubs will be better for easy hooks up than Jakarta as well.

19 Responses

  1. harley says:

    Just stay away from the Java “province” girls… or “kampung girls” as they are called in Indonesia. It’s basically one of the the poorest provinces in the country. That’s where most of the dark skinned gold diggers come from who date with foreigners. They are like the Issan girls in Thailand… low educated, dark skin, flat nose and big lips… and will do anything to get a foreigner, that includes lying and cheating.

    However it seems like you did a good job in Jakarta. There’s many good chicks from all around the country there… unlike in Bali for example, where almost each and every chick you see hanging out with a foreigner is a Java whore.

  2. Kenneith says:

    Hey there Dante, I just recently joined Filipinocupid; I was wondering if you have any tips to responding more? Though perhaps I am a little impatient, It’s been less than a day since i’ve joined. Also i’ve had a lot of comments asking if I am Korean? is that a good thing? (I am not for the record)

    • jspill jspill says:

      Take a well-lit close up of your face holding a cat, I got the most responses that way. They find it cute, and it also gives them a reason to message you first, without being embarrassed about ‘making the first move’. They can just break the ice by saying nice cat. If they ask where the cat is just say oh it’s my brother’s back home.

      Then in other pics show yourself doing interesting things like eating some pinoy food, outside standing next to some obvious tourist landmark, doing a sport, etc. so you look like a normal person and again gives them something to ask about.

      Run all the pics through a white filter, I use photowonder app on my phone and the first ‘effect’ setting.

      Log in frequently at peak times to appear in the most recently online list. Leave it open in a tab with a page reloading script, e.g. chrome extension ‘auto refresh’.

      Change your city location to somewhere you wanna visit, get messages from girls in that area, ask them to be your tour guide and take a trip over there. Or say oops I put the wrong city but if you ever want to come visit you should stay at my place. On FilipinoCupid girls outside Manila tend to be more active users of the site.

      They’re just asking because there are tons of Koreans that move to the Philippines, it’s the #1 source of expats. Some Pinays love Koreans, some hate them.

  3. guy says:

    some guys like it bloody

  4. Greg says:

    Been in Jakarta for the week. I would say the woman here suck compared to Philippines. Was busy for work. So didn’t set up a single date. Just tried to play off the cuff, set things up a couple hours before. Geez the woman here are flaky as hell. They all broke out games, cancelled, tried their luck at a free lunch or Dinner. I noticed anything greater than 5km away is too far. They are poor, but they take it next level, had a girl invite me to a club to find out that she is one of the ladies to flirts with you to get you to buy drinks. I pipelined her for weeks. She needed up with commission 1 bottle of beer from all the weeks of work. I overall thing they are fridgey and flaky, but each to their own.

  5. Eddie says:

    Hey, Dante… have you written any books on Jakarta?

  6. BangkokBaller23 says:

    Know you’re a BIG fan of Indo, have you noticed David Bond (YouTube PUA/Asian lifestyle guy) is currently in Indo? He’s normally in LoS; but, travlled there n I follow his exploits pretty close. NOT about to buy any of his products. His FREE content is worthwhile though (the vids on his channel). ***I am NOT affiliated w/him in any way, just a fan*** (just like this site & Harvie’s)😁

    • jspill jspill says:

      Yeah I noticed im on the mailing list, just seems so cringey tho, he should blog in a normal way

      • BangkokBaller23 says:

        Eh….if he did the “normal way”, nobody would tune-in.

        Besides, he’s actually not doing ANYTHING outside of the normal PUA methodology. Pretty tame stuff. Just, he’s doing it all w/GoPro attached & posting vids to YouTube.

        I applaud him for taking action and living the Dream. Most guys are too much of a P**sy to go after it like he has…😎

        • jspill jspill says:

          Well you tune in here right… there are tons of normal blogs about girls / travel / PUA that reach people through SEO or ads or whatever. Of course people that are interested in that content would tune in, if he did the standard things other websites do to get their content in front of people.

          But what he does is create fake scandals about him being a sex pest, most people tuning in are just those who see that negative news. Who knows how damaging it’s been to the perception asian girls have of foreigners (those who don’t realise he’s trolling the media). Then the people that tune in for the actual content, which is tame, could’ve found him any other way… especially if the bulk of the content wasn’t behind a paywall.

          Yes it’s cool he’s living the dream and going after it, I said that before, but do you have to throw other westerners under the bus… no.

          • BangkokBaller23 says:

            Never going to debate with you how, why, and what’s of running a Blog….you guys are killing it!😁

            But saying David Bond had any REAL effect on Asian girls and/or Asians in general is a stretch. News flash: Foreign guys in Asia like to F hot girls….sometimes lots of them. Really? For that 1% of 1% living in a cave deep in the Burmese jungle for the past 50 years….my condolences. 😇

    • I used to be able to get his BKK and Japan Guide for free., but he patched it. I managed to snag Bond’s Travel Toolkit Guide though.

      Surprisingly not bad stuff but I would never pay actual money for it lol.

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