Why I Became a Sexpat in SE Asia (Ebook)
I just got done writing an ebook about why I decided to leave the West behind and make the move to South East Asia. It ended up being twice as long as my other ebooks so I wanted to give you guys a longer sneak peek than normal. In the last section of the book I talk about the western stereotype of what a ‘hooker’ is, and the reality of what working girls in SE Asia are like.
The western idea of a hooker
In other words, why I became a sexpat and you should too – how there’s a blurred line between hookers and non hookers here, and how that isn’t necessarily such a bad thing. You can read those chapters below.
The rest is on Amazon. If you don’t have a Kindle there’s an Amazon app to read ebooks on PC or mobile.
Beaches, Blogging & Babes: How I Left the Western Life Behind
Chapter 10: Things I Have Learned
For the most part there is no difference between an hooker and a non-hooker in South East Asia. In the western world you can probably spot a prostitute easily, and she may have some emotional issues / drug addiction / criminal history etc.
In countries like the Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia, Indonesia, Vietnam, etc. that’s just not the case. They are just girls that either never had a chance, or didn’t want to spend a lot of time and hard work to earn $500 a month at best.
Some girls here with college educations make only $200 a month. It makes it easy to understand why a pretty girl would take the easy way out and work in a bar / gogo / massage parlor.
And of course many never even had the option to go to college. They may have grown up in a province with poor parents and never went to school.
I would almost make the argument that prostitutes are ‘better’ than other girls as far as being ‘good honest people.’ That may sound crazy but let me explain.
I would guess that somewhere between 5% and 20% of the girls I have handed my number to or contacted on dating sites like Filipino Cupid and Pinalove have asked if they can ‘borrow’ money from me.
I am not talking about girls I had hung out with a lot, I mean before I even know them they are asking to ‘borrow’ money. They are clearly never going to pay this back.
So 5 – 20% of non hookers have no problem with effectively stealing from me. Of the hundreds of times I have had hookers in my room only two have stolen from me and both were small amounts of money.
People in the western world think of all hookers as the girls on the corner in the tiny skirts blowing any dude to go buy some meth. There are some of those in South East Asia… but not many.
They are just girls that are blowing dudes so that they can pay their rent and have something to eat later.
Then there are the mysterious gray area girls and you never really know how to deal with them. I preface every meet with ‘do you go with man for money’ and if they say yes I don’t hang out with them (unless they are really hot.)
But some will still ask for money after we hook up even though they said no. Others will text me days later with a ‘big problem’ asking to ‘borrow.’
You would think my letting them know I wasn’t going to pay would be enough, but it’s not. Part of this is that there is just a really big begging culture in the Philippines. They have no shame in putting a hand out.
In any developing country this is common, but the Philippines is far worse than the others I’ve been to.
Chapter 11: Hookers are Probably Better
Overall I would have to say hookers in Asia are better. When you are living here you can get them to come during non peak hours for very cheap rates. $20 is generally enough for an hour or two.
Of course that isn’t the case for the hottest of the hot…. but it’s not like it’s easy to get the hottest of the hot non hookers to be down with friends with benefits for nothing either.
There are many annoyances with the non hookers here and the biggest one is the flakyness. You will ask them to hang out and they will say yes even though they have no intention to.
You will set a 7pm meeting time and if they show up it won’t be until 8:30. Some will really put you through the ringer with the silly games they play.
Like for example they will say yes they can meet you at the mall. Then you both go to the mall but they are to shy to go through with the meet, but won’t tell you this.
So you stand around the mall texting them for 45 minutes while they peek around the corner at you. Then you get pissed and just go home, but take one more shot and offer them the chance to take their own taxi to your place.
They show up. It’s not that they weren’t ok with your appearance like you might be thinking. It’s that they were to shy to be seen with a foreigner, and are also to shy to tell you that.
In the end you still get what you want, but there is a frustrating hour of your life that was totally unnecessary. Have a few of those in a row and it gets real old.
They will try to bring their friends. For any decently hot one you need to be offering them a meal and probably taxi fare instead of jeep fare.
When I deal with non hookers I usually spend about $8 per ‘date’ on average I think. That is with no real ‘date’ just a meal and taxis.
Is it really worth saving $12 to spend 3 hours chatting and not be guaranteed to get anything. After waiting an hour and a half for her to show up….. and her not showing up on your 2 previous ‘dates?’
The hookers can be a bit flaky, and will often be late. But they are usually much better about that than the non hookers.
From a time to money value perspective hookers are clearly the way to go. When I am busy with work/poker and don’t have much time it is definitely nice to have them as an option.
What a South East Asian hooker might look like
Chapter 12: Sometimes they Just Won’t Listen
There are some additional problems that come from going with ‘regular’ girls as well. I make it clear to every girl that I am just looking for friends and nothing serious.
This costs me quite a few girls that would give it up to me if they thought maybe they could get a ticket out of the Phils….. but I hate the whole white knighting thing.
Leading girls on in the western world where it can be quite hard to get laid at times is one thing. You never should be doing it where you can find cheap hookers all around you.
The problem is some of the girls still fall for me. I’m nothing special, I am not attractive, I don’t earn a lot of money….. but they still do. It’s probably because I go to overboard with the kind texts and being friendly. But I do my best to balance that out by making sure they know we are just friends, and dropping in more hints along the way.
Another way they don’t listen is that before the first time I hang out with them I ask if they want money when they hang out with guys. If they say yes I don’t hang out with them (unless they are really hot hehehe.) Again though some just choose not to listen. They may ask for money a few days later because of their ‘big problem.’
Some others stop you when you make your first move and want to ask you for money but are to shy. There is an awkward moment, if you have been there then you know it. They may say something like ‘I want to ask you something.’
If they are hot then whatever I don’t mind giving them something, when they aren’t hot that is when it gets annoying. And even if they are hot I don’t give them as much as expected if they have duped me into getting horny so I can’t say no.
One girl took this to the extreme. This was when I was in full on dating site grind mode, I hopped on one day and saw a new girl.
She had lots of tats and her pics were showing off lots of skin. She was quite hot so I messaged her even though I assumed she was a hooker. We chatted for a bit and she accepted my offer to come to my place right then at 11am.
I asked if she wanted money and she said no and I told her to hop in a taxi and I would pay. She showed up 30 minutes later in a quarter t-shirt, tiny shorts, and huge leather (hooker) boots.
She had been at J-Ave (the hooker disco) all night and then at 5am went to her friends place. She didn’t get any sleep because she was on the couch and other people were fucking on the floor next to her.
We sat on the couch and had a quick chat and then she pulled out her phone cuz she got a text. After she replied it showed the background of her phone which happened to be a picture of her in a thong.
I commented on the thong pic and she asked if I liked thongs. I gave the obvious reply and she said she was wearing one then and would I like to see. This was under 10 minutes after she arrived.
She stood up and pulled her shorts down and her great ass was 5 inches from my face. I got a nice blowjob on the couch and then told her I wanted to get her off too (fingers only.)
She faked an orgasm after about 3 minutes. Pro tip: if a ‘non hooker’ gives a huge dramatic performance in bed she probably wants money.
My dick was hard again by the time her screams had finished and then she gave me another blowjob. After washing off I said that even though she said she didn’t want money I thought she did and she said yes.
I told her that since she had initially said no I wasn’t going to give her as much as she would normally want when she went with guys from J-Ave and she said that was OK. I gave her 500 pesos and she didn’t seem pissed, but I doubt she was too happy.
Another girl pulled something similar and then before she left she said she needed new shoes for gym class and could I give her money to buy those for her.
I really don’t know what is going through their minds when they say no they don’t want money but clearly do. I don’t want to completely take advantage of the situation, but I also don’t want to reward them fully.
I usually tell them they need to be careful doing that in the future and just to be honest during the texting because that will be easier than asking in person. If the guy says he doesn’t wanna pay find another customer.
There’s another 13,500 words in the full ebook! Thanks for reading.
Yeah I see a lot of guys have no interest in hookers here at all at first, because they have the western stereotype of a drug addict in their mind. They just move here because they want for more financial freedom / to work online etc.
Then over time they realise most hookers here are just normal people because salaries suck, or some local guy got them pregnant and there’s no social welfare – single mothers in the West can just live off government benefits without needing to work. Not the case here. And back home there are plenty of sex starved 8/10 guys who will wife up a 6/10 girl, in Asia though most guys won’t even look at a girl if she has a kid, is approaching 30, or has too dark of a skin tone.
If you ask me, Asian women are actually more respectable than Western women. They are hard working, entrepreneurial, and provide great service. There is a reason that they are sucking up all the western men both at home and abroad. I’m hoping that Western women will start to take notes…
ya and after writing this i get hooker tilt and go back strictly to online dating, then reg girls tilt me and go back to hookers, and the cycle goes on
Dante, you might want to be careful using that Paradise photo.
which photo? and thanks for heads up
The ebook cover photo is from the Paradise Gogo Facebook page: http://bit.ly/2eXz3tQ
Lol nice one dante, inb4 lawsuit
didnt realise it was from there, i saw it cropped on a forum. i’ll give them a some free advertising in the ebook
Hello, I have been following your blog silently for a year and I finally got to Asia last month. As I read your blog, there is just one nagging question in my mind. it probably has something to do with your avatar haha. Are you black or of African decent? Im of African decent myself, but my parents are both from the Caribbean. I currently live in the USA and am traveling in Asia for the first time in my life at 26.
anyway, hope to hear from you soon
all i will confirm is that i am not THE dante hall :p
we’re both white guys but he’s a big sports fan 🙂
plenty of black guys doing well in Asia, check out this guys blog he reads this blog too http://www.expatkings.com/black-american-man-moved-to-the-philippines/
ok, thanks Dante and Jspill!
I will continue to follow.
You always pay. The only question is whether you are paying them to leave or paying them to stay.
I’m sure I’ll enjoy reading the rest of your book… I’ve read through many sites like yours and various forums… “the usual suspects.” What I like about your Philippine descriptions is how accurate they are, and they give me backboard to consider some of the same problems/opportunities I encounter here. Living in Cebu na… ha, ur so right about the flakiness…. I almost always count on it, along with different forms of money requests. It’s a crazy place here… so far this morning I have one offer for “baby-making”, and one Skype from CDO who just wants to stay me awhile if I fly her up… I never thought I would value my no-action days…. because action is usually just some DIA/Cupid/Pina/Mall away… Thanks again for all ur great posts and information…. wish I was a good poker player, but not so…
hey thanks for the comment, could probably make more money off this blog if i wanted to lie and say every girl on Pinalove is a 9 that isnt flaky and never asks for money, but prefer just sharing the real experiences
prostitution is the natural state of women and thinking otherwise is not only anti natural, its counter productive. it s obvious in the west that feminism was invented to put women to work. they dont really hide it. they just invented other forms of prostitution, but they clearly dont defend the good girl model…
men are brainwashed to think of prostitution as bad, or as bnary thing. in fact grey area is a normal state, women do depend from men, its nothing extraordinary.
men coming in a country where pussy is easy for the first time might think what they wat, after a moment they ll end up as sexpat anyway.
like that guy i know.his cousin come. oh, he is not like us, he doesnt go to the brothels. he is coming for the temples and all. come the first night, just outside of suvanabhumi. do you come take a beer with us? yes, just a beer ,nothing else. dont worry ,boy… that night he fucked a hooker, and every night after this one. he did not see any temple. temples of sins, maybe. he is in soi 6 every afternoon now.