Pattaya The Sexpat’s Disneyland
If you go to Pattaya you are sure to have a great time. There are many things to see and do, and many lovely ladies to see and do as well.
Acrobat show on Walking Street
But there are a lot of things about Pattaya that remind me of Disneyland. Actually it is almost uncanny how similar they can be when you start to think about it.
Too Many Selfie Sticks
I heard recently that Disney World was going to start banning selfie sticks because of all the people clogging up the walkways more interested in taking pictures than riding rides.
Well its not quite as bad in Pattaya, but I do see quite a few 40 year old dudes using selfie sticks to take a picture of themselves in front of some random bar.
If you are a 40 year old dude that owns a selfie stick I doubt there are many people looking at your Facebook pics to begin with.
Enjoy The Lines
While you may not notice the huge lines in Pattaya believe me there are people waiting for the best rides. There is one popular massage lady who is very hard to get a turn with.
Why? Because guys hang out at the bar across the street from her shop and once her last customer leaves the first one to notice runs over and gets the next seat on Space Mountain.
One guy on a sexpat message board even said how she let him go down on her and he highly recommended it. I’ll take your word for it bud, I am sure one of the most used up snatches in all of Pattaya tastes delicious!
Think you are the only one that has eyes on the hottest girl in the gogo? Sure she is already getting a ladies drink from a customer but as long as he doesn’t barfine her you will get your chance right?
Well good luck. Considering most gogos only have a few good looking girls the rest of the guys in the place probably have the same goal as you.
And if she really is that hot there is a good chance she is sponsored already and is just a drink slut.
Demand Ruins the Supply
I think I see more white guys under 40 in one night out in Pattaya then I did in a year in Cebu. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if in Ibar alone there are more of that demographic.
And the majority are two week millionaires that don’t realize that paying a cute 7/10 2000 baht ($60) is awful value in Asia. Even many 5’s and 6’s on Beach Road won’t budge for under 1000 baht now.
Every time I went to Disney World I was a bit underwhelmed by the rides. Outside of the aforementioned Space Mountain and Splash Mountain the rest were always pretty weak.
But it’s Disney World so you are paying twice as much then you would at other amusement parks.
Can’t Afford To Stay Too Close
I remember when I last went to Disney World we had to stay a bit away from the action and take some tram in because all of the hotels right there were super expensive.
Well if you want to rent a condo in Pattaya you need to look out towards Jomtien or even farther to get good value. And instead of the tram take the baht bus (I’m not hating on the baht bus! It is one of the best parts about Pattaya.)
What I am getting At….
They both are cool, but they both are overrated. You will have fun at both, but you can get much better value in many other places.
You should definitely try to go to both at least once in your life. And if you do remember to take a bunch of selfies otherwise no one else may believe you were really ever there.