Western Men Move to Asia Because They Can’t Get Laid Back Home?

Thai gogo bar

You’ve probably heard the stereotype that only the rejects of the West expatriate to countries like the Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia, etc., because they ‘can’t hack it’ back home.

Either they’re social misfits, can’t get laid with girls so need to move to impoverished countries, or both. Possibly they’re even criminals on the run, sex tourists, pedophiles, into ladyboys, or all of the above.

How much truth is there to it? Definitely some – you’ll meet some weird people if you move to South East Asia. As you would anywhere. Some go off the rails once they get here, I’d count myself as one of those.

IMO there’s about 10% truth to the stereotype, then the rest is anonymous haters on forums / social media who are jealous of guys having fun in the sun.

But I can only speak from personal experience. Perception is reality and everyone will have their own viewpoint. But most guys I’ve met since moving here are perfectly normal well-rounded people.

In this post I’ll give myself as an example of why I moved to SE Asia as an example – or more accurately, why I stayed – and the types of expats I’ve met so far.

My Background

I may be a weirdo and ‘sexpat’ now – it’s not normal in the eyes of society to have slept with hundreds of prostitutes, as I have – but initially that was not my plan at all. I didn’t pay for sex until 2 years in.

I didn’t even choose Thailand or anywhere in SE Asia at first either. The thought never occurred to me.

Thai pole dancer

Finishing Uni – 2008

I graduated from Imperial College London, BSc Physics. It’s usually ranked somewhere in the top 8 or so universities in the world, and #3 in the UK. Requires two A grades at A Level to apply, I had three.

I was also in the OTC (officer training corps, called ROTC in the US, like the Territorial Army for undergraduates), and finished 3rd in my class. That military training is equivalent to an NVQ Level 2.

I was an Army cadet from 13 to 18, doing similar activities to the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award program. Then became an adult instructor (‘Cadet Force Adult Volunteer’ they call it now).

On paper I’m probably in the top few %, academically. My friends ended up going into investment banking or finance. So why did I end up working for an online poker site and having a blog about sex tourism?

Pursuing Teaching

I’d taught in the ACF. I’d also been a volunteer maths tutor at uni. I liked teaching and wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life, so decided to do a postgraduate teaching course (PGCE).

They pay a bursary while you train, and there’s no obligation to go into teaching after. I thought about going into the ETS branch of the UK Army – the Education & Training Services.

That would combine my interests in the Army and teaching. You complete a PGCE in the ETS, if you haven’t already done so as a civilian.

I still wanted to be in London as a civilian for a bit longer though so I applied to the Institute of Education. I got halfway through a PGCE before dropping out.

Sleeping Patterns

What I realised is that I can’t stick to a normal sleeping schedule. At uni I hadn’t needed to wake up early, lectures weren’t mandatory, I skipped most.

One of the first Thai girls I met

The voluntary tutoring I’d done was in the afternoons, and in the ACF I’d taught in the evenings.

As a teenager I’d always found it hard to wake up in the mornings and though that was something I’d just grow out of when I was older and started working – a PGCE is mostly on the job training.

I didn’t grow out of it. My body preferred the routine of sleeping around sunrise and waking up in the afternoon. Waking up at 7 to commute to school as a trainee teacher was a disaster.

It sounds like just being a lazy bum but actually DPSD – delayed phasic sleeping disorder – affects 7 to 16% of adolescents and 0.15% of adults. A chronic disregulation of the body’s circadian rhythms.

Considering Other Options

I applied to teach ESL in Greece as they start teaching late into the afternoons and finish at night. They also paid quite well. This was in 2009. They didn’t get back to me.

While waiting for their reply I was browsing the 2+2 Poker forums. The online poker boom happened when I was at uni and I played a bit as a student, joining the poker society and really getting into it.

Mostly I just read the NVG and strategy sections, but one day stumbled across the travel section and found out there was a community of players in Thailand. One guy posted a pic of a $250/month apartment.

It looked way nicer than the tiny cupboard sized room in Brixton I was paying over twice that for, sharing with other housemates.

I started reading and posting in the ‘ask us about Thailand’ thread, everyone was saying how awesome life was there, how their money went so much further and they easily supported themselves.

Flying to Thailand – 2009

I wasn’t that good at poker and was still interested in teaching so I took a TEFL course and flew to Thailand in Nov 2009 to teach English.

I also didn’t think it would be a good idea to even attempt to support myself just playing poker there. At this point I was still ‘normal’ – I thought it best to have a guaranteed job placement and source of income, etc.

The guys in the 2+2 forum thread were posting degen stories about girls, living a hookers and blow lifestyle, but that at this point I just wanted to travel, teach, have a job etc., sex didn’t factor into it.

I’d also looked into the JET Programme (Japan exchange and teaching), I almost ended up teaching there.

I had little idea what Thailand was like, I thought it was somewhere hippie backpackers would go to visit temples and beaches. Asian girls weren’t even on my radar at that point either.

Even though Imperial College was about 65% Asians, they weren’t attractive to me at the time.

They didn’t look like this at Imperial

Did I Get Laid Back Home?

I had 5 sexual partners in my life before Thailand. I lost my virginity at 19. From 17 – 18 I had a 10 month relationship followed by a 6 month relationship, where both of those girls were virgins, as was I.

Looking back now this is absolutely amazing to me. I’d never wait that long now or be the gentleman I was about it.  Anyway I finally had sex in my first year of uni with a girl who’d had sex before.

I was on the shy, quiet side but nothing crazy and I wouldn’t say I ‘couldn’t get laid’ back home in the West. I did ok. I later had long term relationships with an Australian then a French girlfriend, and another ONS.

Then the 5th was night one in Thailand, my TEFL placement was with 10 other people, mostly western girls. As part of the orientation package the company put us up in a hotel and I banged one of them.

Bangkok

So I wake up (late afternoon), first full day in Bangkok. I’m 23. At this point I’ve had sex with 5 girls, all white western, every encounter with a condom unless with a long term girlfriend on the pill or with Implanon.

I haven’t been counting but I remember noting that I had 5 more sexual partners in the first few months of living in Bangkok, and wishing I’d made the move sooner.

Fast forward almost 8 years, I just turned 31, writing this (at 3am when I feel most productive) in 2017. Now I’ve slept with I think over 300 women, all Asian, of which a bit over half was paid prostitution.

I started mixing in some prostitutes after about 2 years, and haven’t slept with another western girl since that TEFL teacher on night one.

I’ve had three long term relationships in Asia. Now I’ve reversed tastes and find Asian girls more attractive, some call this the ‘yellow fever’ effect.

Working Online

Even though Thailand teaching was a lower workload than the PGCE I couldn’t avoid some morning lessons and waking up for other duties. So that was a disaster as well.

I should’ve known, but wanted to try again, and thought it best to have a job and a reason to give my parents as to why I was moving to Asia.

So I left that job, and frantically tried to get better at poker. I did, but also started writing about it freelance for poker sites on the side, after finding an ad asking for writers.

That eventually became a full time position so I didn’t need to play poker anymore, and through writing for the poker site I learnt some SEO & WordPress skills, enough to start a blog myself on the side with Dante.

10 Baht coin & Wat Arun temple

So now I support myself online through content writing, blogging and a bit of investing. I get by enough to not need to go home.

So that’s why I stayed, I found a way to get by. I had no idea I’d end up living abroad though, let alone where.

In a way blogging is like teaching, I get to help people and share my experiences. I had about 10000 posts on forums across the internet too, answering people’s questions about living in Thailand or the Philippines.

Why I’m an Expat in SE Asia

To sum it up, the main reason I’m an expat in Asia is because due to my sleeping patterns I can’t work a normal job. I have to work online from home with flexible hours, everything else I tried didn’t pan out.

Fortunately the content writing I do can be done at any time of day. It doesn’t pay very well though, so that’s the SE Asia part. It’s cheap to live here, so it makes more sense to work online here.

Not that I live on a budget, I spend as much as I did in London but the money goes much further. You can live comfortably here on what would be poverty wages or a student bursary in the West. Location arbitrage.

Does that mean I ‘can’t hack it’ in the West? Maybe so, I haven’t been officially diagnosed with DPSD by a doctor but I’m pretty sure I do have it.

Lots of casual sex / hookers are just a bonus, I’d still choose to live in places like Thailand and the Philippines even if I had to settle down with one girl.

I could live cheaply and work online at home in Eastern Europe or South America but the people in SE Asia are friendlier so I’d rather be here.

Am I a Weirdo?

I did go off the rails a bit banging so many hookers, not using condoms very much, etc. but I don’t consider it that weird. Maybe I could’ve wrapped up a bit more often.

Thai working girl

Friends back home are shocked and tell me I’ve changed a lot, but you have to try it to understand that hookers here are actually really cool people. I wrote more about that in this comment on a post.

I’ve also had normal relationships, and normal hookups, even though some people seem to think it’s all or nothing and if you sleep with one prostitute it means you can never get laid normally…

I even took a Thai girl to the UK to stay with me while she did a 3 week business English course. She had wanted to study abroad, a Masters.

I told her don’t bother, just get any certificate that says she studied abroad on it, it’ll have much the same effect as a postgrad degree as I bet Thai employers don’t pay that much attention.

We crashed on the sofa of a friend’s place in London while she did the course, the certificate at the end said ‘University of London Business English’ on it.

Only cost her 300 quid and she got a new job in Bangkok with double the salary when she came back. And I taught her a lot of English, while she taught me Thai.

Weird Expat Story

The reason I thought to write this post is because I was thinking about Ron Fanelli. I never met him in person but he also posted in the 2+2 Thailand thread, and was part of the poker community I’m in.

He killed a Thai bargirl he was dating, chopped up her body and dumped it in a suitcase by the side of the road. Although some say he didn’t actually dismember the body, just put her in the suitcase intact.

He’s currently in Thai prison. Now, this is the rare case of nutcase expat that people always like to cite as an example of what kind of man moves to SE Asia.

I was searching Google to find out when he’d be released, as I remember for some reason he only got a 10 year sentence. He was sentenced in 2011.

I came across a thread about him and read this comment:

We all know why men choose to live in Thailand – to satisfy their sexual appetites with women who are expected to behave in ways that appease the broken egos of men unable, or unwilling, to deal equally with empowered women, in societies that do not condone their sexual exploitation.

I read a lot of comments like this on places like Reddit. That men only move to Asia for ‘submissive’ women, and / or because we can’t get high quality women in our home countries.

Like I said maybe there’s some 10% truth to that, but some act like it’s 100%.

I’d just apply Occam’s razor and look for the simple reasons – girls here are more friendly, less fat, they like men more and want a relationship / family instead of chasing careers, and you can live better for the same amount of money.

via mates in the UK and Aus

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76 Responses

  1. Getting laid in the US is abysmal. I’ve just been dealt all the wrong cards in life. Despite being a published author and doing ok in my field, I still suffer from crippling depression.

    Anyway it was good to hear your story. Not all of ‘us’ are psychos.

  2. Edward says:

    Great post know what you mean about the money goes a lot further in Asia !than does here in U.K. ! I hope to settle there permanently in the next couple of years but until then will have to settle for the yearly visit . Keep up the great posts

  3. Anonymous says:

    Fantastic ending.

  4. Jay says:

    My job is transferring me to Manila, should be there end of the year or early next. I currently live in Vegas and I love it. I am looking forward to the move though as I have never been anywhere in Asia. When I was in the Air Force I was stationed in Germany and traveled all through Europe, looking forward to exploring SEA. I’m pretty normal guy, I do OK here, but maybe I’m a weirdo as well. Any time you do things that are different, people think you are weird. Love the blog.

  5. Ivan Pua says:

    I know some sexpats who came to the Philippines to spread their HIV or AIDS , which they got from Cambodia or Thailand
    Sad to say their still doing it

    But I met some sexpats who are nice people though

  6. The Johnson says:

    I think with the 50 years old and above thats obviously the case. And I dont blame them at all! When I see an old guy with a young filipina I think fair fucking play. Ill be doing the same thing at that age no doubt!

    Younger guys, myself included can do better in Asia as well. But I often see a lot of younger guys who have lost their confidence a long the way and Asia really is a great ego booster. For me sex in the UK was so much more effort and so much more money, I didnt really prioritize it much and got lazy.

    I encourage anyone dealing with depression to get over here. Not needing to worry about money because of the cost of living and being in the sun a lot helps, girls on top and you will be a new man.

    Looking out on the ocean at the horizon is very very therapeutic. A sense of endless possibility and freedom, that’s what traveling Asia feels like.

    • Scandibro says:

      Last sentence hits it on the nail. Is it a mirage though? It’s rare to meet people who have lived all their life in Asia and moved there when young.

  7. The Johnson says:

    Can I send you a “reader submission” to consider publishing? Ive been meaning to tell this story for a while and was never sure where to post it

  8. southernallstars says:

    Great post, thanks for sharing! I’m happy I found SEA for myself, it’s really tough getting laid back home, when you have a gf it’s ok, but at times I went years without. I always notice a clear boost in my male value when in SEA in everyday life, nothing wrong with wanting and pursuing that. Japanese girls are nicer than white girls, but they’re very aloof towards sex and relationships, some are basically sexless creatures. It’s the flip-side to their femininity.

  9. Reader says:

    BKK has plenty of dregs of humanity types from all sorts of countries, but you can avoid them, however in Pattaya they’re not so avoidable.

    They’re part of the boomer generation though. Nomad types of our age that stick around are generally around average joe in terms of looks and dress and previous sexual history. It’s just feminist shaming and I don’t bother reading mainstream sites anymore.

    Pines is still mainly lots of grandpa types that look like they’ll die within the next decade. Not much tourism and kinda expensive for what it is, so not many younger guys come around.

    Generally speaking, most western guys will end up in China, Korea or Japan if they have yellow fever as all these places offer at least a modicum of career opportunities, which cannot be said about Thailand. Most of these guys are actually above average looking, but too nice guy / low earning / not swole aggressive chad enough for white girls with equal looks who have been running through half a dozen guys on average since age 13.

  10. Reader says:

    And regarding your sleep cycle: Maybe it’s just an overuse of caffeine? Fucks my sleep cycle up really badly.

    I have been working all kinds of hours but I generally feel best waking up with the sunshine and going to bed when it gets dark. I work euro hours though, so I don’t get up that early.

    • jspill jspill says:

      I’ve been like that as long as I can remember with or without caffeine, but maybe it makes it even worse yeah. Heard melatonin tablets can help but haven’t got round to trying

      • Jobo says:

        I have problems sleeping too. Have you tried diphenhydramine? Knocks me out in about an hour or so.

      • Reader says:

        I used them years ago and they worked from what I remember, however if you don’t cycle them just like any stuff you plan to take long time with full effects it’ll probably stop working after a couple weeks or you’ll need to up the dosage.

        In BKK in the end it’s better not to be up too early anyway as the sunshine is too strong for a pale ass guy like me, walking around ain’t fun when you’re sweating buckets and there is plenty of stuff to do at night.

        In Chiang Mai on the other hand everything closes super early (hotel receptions often before 10pm, restaurants between 7pm and 8pm) and there is virtually no nightlife.

        • Jobo says:

          Idk I’ve been using diphenhydramine for about 5 years now to sleep. Just one 50mg before bed and I sleep great. It’s just an allergy pill (with the side effect of drowsiness) so fine to take everyday. It works for me.

  11. southernallstars says:

    I have a similar problem and similar sleeping hours, which I can afford being self-employed. I read a good book on sleep recently

    https://www.amazon.com/Sleep-Smarter-Essential-Strategies-Success-ebook/dp/B019G14UQI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1501849467&sr=1-1&keywords=sleep

    It says sleeping after 2 a.m. can be detrimental to your health in the long run. I am considering Melatonin, too, but also following the tips in the book.

  12. PJ says:

    Yeah, those Western feminist cunts have to tell themselves that men from the West who date SEA women are lonely perverts and child molesters who take advantage of innocent women with no other choice but to date a richer, foreign male because they can’t handle a “strong” woman. I was thankfully spared from dealing with these cunts because I spent all my vacation time and I lived in the Philippines for a year, where, thankfully you hardly see any Western women. Philippines is a place where mostly only Western men go (outside the touristy areas like Boracay, Palawan, etc.).

    Unfortunately, I’m in Thailand currently, where I’ve spent the last 3 weeks with my Filipina girlfriend and unlike the Phils, Thailand is just overrun with foreigners everywhere, including many Western feminist cunts. Every encounter with one of them is the same: they see me and her and give me the death stare for a brief second before focusing their attention on her and looking at her as though they feel sorry for her exploitation. That’s not to say the male tourists here are much better. I was in Patong, where my girlfriend told me that on several occasions when we were walking and I was looking in a different direction some dudes would call her over (as if she’s a prostitute). Keep in mind that this wasn’t in Pattaya or Soi Cowboy. This was in Phuket (where 95% of the people are couples or families) and we weren’t on Bangla road, where they may assume she’s a prostitute. I’m a nonviolent person so I wouldn’t stoop to that, but if these dudes called someone’s girlfriend/wife over like that in the West, that would earn them a serious beating. I remember Dante wrote a post once where he said he hands his number to freelancers/hookers when they are with other dudes. At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with it, but after that experience, I wouldn’t advise it. You never know when you might mistake someone’s gf for a freelancer and end up in a confrontation.

    Anyway, this Thailand trip served its purpose. Thailand is often touted as a superior alternative and after years of traveling and living in the Phils, I wanted to spend some time In Thailand to open my mind and also make sure the Philippines really is the best country for me. It is, no doubt about it.

    • jspill jspill says:

      Phuket by far the worst part of Thailand for being overrun by foreigners. And Chiang Mai. You don’t get as many western girls or tourists in BKK by comparison, especially the western girls part.

      • Reader says:

        >And Chiang Mai.

        Loads of Chinese these days + some koreans + the odd japanese. Way more than western tourists and you can game them as well, however the openness and sophistication highly varies + as developed countries they got their own anti average male thing going on (mainly applies their own guys though). Just the other day there was a very good looking Chinese girl eating durian on a mall escalator in front of me with her bare hands while bits and pieces were falling down lol, which made me go hells no.

        In the few upscale apartments maybe 70% foreigners living there with plenty of femnazi whales and blue pill guys around that you’ll inevitably meet in the pool, which ruins the pool experience.

        • thibault says:

          reason to avoid high class farang careas
          . low cost sexpat corners are safer, only what we re here for.
          i try to make my friend avoid mariage, i even fucked a pristitute that looked like his futur wife in a desperate attempt to fuck his marriage. much to his discontent, i could not do it.
          so, why ould people in sea come with whales? hopingvthey ll break soon enough, but guys are still weak.

        • Can you please expand on the “anti-average male” thing for Chinese/Jap/Korean?

          • Reader says:

            If you don’t own your own place (most guys get those gifted by their parents upon marriage) and got no car you’re looked at a worthless piece of shit as a local guy by Chinese women. There are exceptions but that’s the rule.

            Koreans: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megalia https://www.koreabang.com/2014/stories/ilbe-presents-the-uniquely-korean-kimchi-bitch.html

            Got no links regarding Japan, but japanese women have very high standards, which rules out maybe 70-80% of men as viable partners + submission is part of the corporate game even more than in the west and just like women elsewhere in the developed world they require a strong alpha game, which average joe doesn’t have due to this. Now the average westerner automatically comes across as more alpha due to the unfamiliarity with the local customs, however the language barrier is super huge, so don’t bother unless you’re fluent or want to stick to the foreigner haunts for one night stands.

    • cuck says:

      some feminazi cunts come to angeles from time to time to save girls. even girls laugh at them.

    • thibault says:

      90% women in patong are prostitutes.. they are rught. you re wrong. and you know why? because you have a girlfriend. why rhe fuck do you wantvto tie yourself to one woman? all tjose lost opportunities…

      • PJ says:

        Considering 90% of women in Patong are visitors from China, Korea, Australia and other countries who are their WITH their partners, I don’t see how they could all be prostitutes on vacation, looking to make an extra buck. You don’t sound like someone who has actually been to Patong. Either that, or you are purposely being obtuse. And as far as me having a girlfriend, I don’t have to justify my personal choices to some dude on the internet.

  13. -Cam says:

    What a great story! You’re an inspiration to many of your younger readers such as myself that are hoping to do something similar. I look forward to chilling in Asia with you in the future!

  14. uwot says:

    interesting story, thx for sharing
    so where do you stay now in SEA?
    can you see yourself getting bored of SEA and leaving at some point?
    you reckon you might get bored of the whoring and wanna start a family or something?

    • jspill jspill says:

      Rough plan now is 5 months a year in Thailand, 5 in Philippines, then split 2 months a year over 2 week trips to Indonesia, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. That’s very easy to do visa wise and keeps things fresh. Don’t think I’ll get bored of that, but can try out other places if I do.

      I plan to start a family and keep discreetly whoring on the side.

      • Reader says:

        >I plan to start a family and keep discreetly whoring on the side.

        Maybe make a post about this as I don’t get it.

        You speak thai and could get some girl from the sticks, but if you take her to BKK (unless you want to be the token whitey in the sticks) idk if that’s going to work out. Girls need social circles way more than guys.

        You’ll need a larger apartment, if she stays at home you’ll annoy each other sooner or later and of course all of this costs lots of extra money.

        She’ll probably push for a respectable life with a car etc. and take care of her family if they have issues etc.

        That’s just a giant nightmare of expectations to me.

        • thibault says:

          having a respectabke life is a stupid idea that grows on you when you re caround 30. dont worry, ill pass before you reach 40. then the red pill is bright as molten rock, and you re disgusted for life of those stupidities.

          • thibault says:

            even if, sadly, you really wanit children his time. just, not having a wife and responsibilities.

          • Reader says:

            I’m in my early 30s just like jspill and came to Asia in my early 20s. While I feel like I should settle down in a respectable country like Japan, where I won’t have to deal with third world bullshit anymore, I’m definitely not looking to do so with a woman.

            Western women: You gotta be kidding me. Always on the lookout for new cock since puberty. Zero chance this is going to work out long term. “B-b-b-b-but she’s different…” Ya right. Said every guy ever. Divorce rates are 70%+ in some euro countries and my father got his life ruined via divorce.

            South East Asian Woman: Either simpletons who see you as a fetish object / status symbol /walking ATM or have a solid understanding of western culture and been exposed to feminism and often multiple western dicks.

            North East Asia: Women make their own money, have high expectations of men, life is expensive and when the honey moon wears off you’ll have a nagging bitch wife who complains every day that you aren’t a fancy manager raking in 100k a year. If you live outside of capitals and make a top 30ish percent income you can avoid it and China works best as the local guys generally ain’t big haters, but there are tons of downsides to China from pollution to shoddy housing to lack of decent employment if you go bust.

            Could go on and on but objectively I really don’t think it’s a good idea and I have patiently hunted down the best LTR materials I could over the years. Women are eternal children with fickle minds and just don’t make good partners, whether relationship or otherwise. Our forefathers knew this and heavily restricted female behavior while we had to learn this shit all on our own.

            • thibault says:

              women are naturally looking to put us in competition to find the best partner. which is a never a husband type, but. a lover.
              we dont have to learn it on pir own. there is the manosphere. you deem like simeone who is aware of it, read heartiste if you want to go further.
              our forefathersdidnt have to learn anytjing, it was obvious. thats why they did let things go sour, they never had to learn. thats how the globalist elite got them.

          • Scandibro says:

            Ahahaha.

            That made me laugh out loud thibault.

            Thanks.

      • jspill jspill says:

        Yeah it’s probably going to be a nightmare, but I still want to experience everything in life, GFs, hookups, dating, hookers, done all those, at some point I’ll have kids. It’d be cool to have a son to hangout with when I’m old and take him to the gogo bars, and it’d make my mum happy to have grandkids.

        My Dad had kids with 3 different wives and was cheating all the time, left the last one for a GF half his age. Wasn’t at home that much, lots of ‘business trips’ and ‘overtime’, but enough to not be an absent father. I can see myself doing the same thing.

        It will inevitably go tits up but I’ll look for a girl who is fine for me to hardly have any responsibilities other than financial, and who doesn’t mind me being away. I’d just put in cameo appearances to teach my son cool stuff. Mostly I feel the urge to reproduce.

        I met a guy in Manila, he has a kid with a bisexual Chinese girl who is totally down to do threesomes, they regularly go find hookers together, she doesn’t get jealous at all. And a live-in Filipina nanny handles everything with the kid. If I can find something like that it’d be perfect. It’s hilarious walking into gogo bars with them, the girls don’t know how to react to a Chinese chick coming in.

        I’ve been dating a Burmese – Chinese chick for a while now, her Dad’s Chinese but he moved to Burma at a young age. She grew up there so isn’t that materialistic because it’s really poor, she doesn’t need much money to get by and is really hard working. Met her in BKK, she’s a migrant worker, crossed a river at 13 to illegally enter Thailand. Doesn’t like her parents much either after they sent her off to work, and doesn’t send them much money. And she’s super hot.

        Those kind of rare girls are out there. Partnership with them is still not ideal but neither is not passing on your genes, and not having some family around when you’re old.

        • Reader says:

          I guess with Burmese and Lao you always have an edge because of the way thais treat them. Idk if she’s a pro but if she’s not and hot and crossed over that early chances are she got raped / forced into prostitution for some time / coerced by bosses or w/e, which is not something I’d want to deal with. If it happened chances are she won’t tell you and if she is super freaky or has major sexual hangups something probably happened. Then there’s also the whole anti migrant worker crackdown happening right now.

          In a messed up world where everybody and his mom has problems that could bring you down, I have learned to steer around potential problem sources. Whatever you do I hope it works out though.

        • RumandCokeMan says:

          You’re right-not passing on your genes and having anyone around when you’re old sounds like total misery. Feminism has caused a lot of these issues we see now as native Westerners.

          How old do you think is probably too old to have your first kid in the West and SEA?

  15. desigentleman says:

    too much feminism back at home

  16. Ash says:

    Hey Spill and Dante – been a reader of this site for over a year now and finally in a position to where I can afford to take a vacation/short term living- looking to leave the U.S. for the Phils in the next 90-120 days. I’m looking for a short term stay of a few months. However, I’m stuck as to whether I should choose Manila, or Cebu. Which would make more sense?

    • jspill jspill says:

      Recent Cebu trip report from the last commenter here – http://nomadphilippines.com/living-in-cebu/#comment-8563

      J Ave closed, Comedy club too, so nightlife is a bit dead, the 10 or so gogos are bad. If you want nightlife/hookers, Manila. And better condos / internet (Gramercy Residences). If you want the quiet life, easy online dating, beaches, bit cheaper rent, Cebu.

      Could go as far as to say Davao has better nightlife than Cebu currently, and is better if you want no foreigners around. A friend went Echeleon nightclub in Davao recently and said he was getting tons of stares from girls.

      Could always do several cities in 3-4 months, I would. You won’t save much by booking 3-4 months in a condo as opposed to 1-2. Big discounts tend to be at the 6 and 12 month point. Being in Manila you have more places nearby (Angeles) and can fly to a beach cheaply for a weekend getaway, use Cebu Pacific.

      Maybe chat to girls in each city on dating sites / apps and decide based on which are hottest.

  17. RealGuy says:

    When feminists say “cant get laid in the west”, there is some truth to it, but it needs to be rephrased as “cant get laid with women [that are actually attractive] in the west.

    The sad truth is that 80% of western women are obese, single mothers, have toxic or entitled attitudes, and just make plain old bad partners and mothers. I say this with no animosity, and think its not completely their fault as theyve been sold short by the hateful feminists that have misled them.

    Of the 20% left, 90% of the male population are going after them and the level of competition is unbelievable.

    Whereas in SEA, simply being a normal guy who is responsible and halfway decent looking makes you above average. Its pretty easy to land an attractive and pleasant woman. This is natural and completely normal in most societies.

    Angry feminists just bleet hatefully about guys who have the balls to go where theres real women. They know theyve debased themselves to a point where no sane man would ever want them, if given a choice between them and a mentally healthy woman. Thats why instead of respecting democratic choice between 2 consenting adults, they prefer to attack people that dont support their insane worldview.

  18. RealGuy says:

    In between Philippines trips I dated a second generation American girl. I asked if she wanted to cook together for a date and she said she didnt know how to. I asked how she thought shed be able to take care of a family some day and she said its ok. She believes in an equal relationship where both people work and support the kids financially. I say ok

    Next date we go to a decent restaurant and I order lots of food and side dishes. Shes all happy. Then the bill comes and I have her pay for it, and remind her she said she believes in an equal relationship. Before this I paid for a few meals. She was clearly angry, but eventually paid. I did not see her again, but can confirm women who say they want equal relationships are just lying. They wanna have their cake and eat it too, which is news to nobody.

  19. Jobo says:

    I didn’t get laid much in the West because I don’t put up with their bullshit. Who cares what the Western cunts think and for that matter what any cunt thinks. We get one shot at life, I plan not to have some cunt make mine miserable.

  20. BangkokBaller23 says:

    FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!! 🙂

  21. James says:

    This is how I would explain it.

    I’m a believer of “leagues”, like I think the system where we ranked people on a 1-10 scale based on desirability makes sense, and I believe that most 6 guys can’t land perfect 10s. Not that I’m even a 6, but it’s been…huh…never? since I chatted up Megan Fox…oh well…

    What’s happening is that regardless of the ranking of those white guys in western countries, in Phil and Thailand they are automatically assigned to be 7s or more. Doesn’t matter if you are fat or old, you are a 7 to start. Young, fit and handsome, 8, 9 , 10 it’s up to you. So being 7s or better, you get to have girls who are 7s or better as well.

    What is interesting is that the desirability scale of girls is roughly the same, an 8 in manila is proly an 8 in NY (might be debatable), but the only difference is that now you have a real shot at her in Manila. Maybe I’m a bit older but for girls in my dating age group, 28ish, you would need to have a stable career with 80K+ yearly income at a min to be considered a 7. So most 4-6 guys who have no shot at some hot 8+ girls in western countries all of a sudden are landing 8s+ with ease in Phil and Thailand.

    It works similarly as the concept of purchasing power. If you have 40USD to spend on dinner for two, Applebee or whatever the European equivalent would be your only option in NY or Paris. But at least with my recent exp, 40USD buys you a nice dinner at a low tier highend restaurant in Makati. It’s still the same 40 bucks, but you can a lot more with it in manila. now

    So do those western women have a point in saying that guys go to those countries to exploit the women there? I think so. But capitalism is literally built on exploitation. So when every company in the western world ships their manufactoring to China or call centers to Phil, we are doing exactly the same thing. Companies seek ways to max their profit, and we live our lives in pursuit of generating the most amount of happiness for ourselves.

    Enjoy life first, morality is for those with way too much in life already.

    James Loves Poker

    • PJ says:

      You have a point. The minute you step off a plane in Thailand, you are automatically richer, more handsome, and your dick is bigger than it was back home. But that it is not exploitation of the women. Most men are not taking advantage of women in any way or forcing them to do anything they don’t want to do. They are simply exploiting THEIR OWN increased sexual capital abroad.

    • jspill jspill says:

      If a guy moves to a cheaper western city, or cheaper western country to get more bang for his buck, no one bats an eyelid. Once they hear Thailand / Philippines though, suddenly it’s taboo and exploiting the women, not just the price difference. It’s the soft bigotry of low expectations – “Oh those Thai / Filipino people, they’re poor, this guy must be exploiting them in some way. It can’t possibly be that those girls actually like him for more than his money”.

      • James says:

        Honestly I haven’t talked to enough western women to find out what their exact objections are, but common sense tells me that’s one of their points proly.

        I think it goes back to PJ’s point about exploitation as well. I’m not going with the Marxist definition about controlling the means of production and etc, basically any job in the world you don’t own is a form of exploitation of the value you create by your employer. Let’s go with the modern one started by globalization.

        There was a famous case involving Nike, where they were (and still are) making their shoes in Indo more than 10 years ago now already. They were paying the equivalent of 3USD a day to their workers while they lived in crowded dorm conditions while working 12 hours a day. So the left, as usual, argued that Nike is exploiting the poor south asian people. While Nike argued that 3USD a day at the time was actually slightly above the average salary for workers. So if anything they offered those poor people a chance to make money and be better off than they were before.

        Maybe cuz I play poker and we talk about exploiting others’ leaks or in business we exploit market inefficiencies and what not, so to me, exploitation just means taking advantage of a situation, it has no negative moral connotation attached to it. That’s why I think it is indeed an exploitation but there’s nothing wrong with it, and I intend to do it as well.

        • Jobo says:

          Now you are discussing supply and demand. In the West labor/human life is expensive. In SE Asia labor/human life is cheap and abundant. People will do a lot for a little bit of money. The concept of capitalism was built on the concept of natural systems. Animals competing for survival and dominance. I don’t see a problem moving to a country where your worth is higher to a potential mate. We move for a higher paying job and that is seen as good, but moving for a better girlfriend is lame or bad? Doesn’t make sense. As for exploitation…my pinay girlfriend is living the best that she has ever lived. We live on a beach, with internet, TV’s, computers, smartphones, all food she wants, clothes, entertainment, AC, if she was with a filipino she’d be living in a dirt floor bamboo hut eating rice everyday. Maybe the feminazis are a bit jealous?

    • BangkokBaller23 says:

      Ranking other guys is “Gay”. We shouldn’t do it. We rate girls, and they rate us (and other girls), which is fine. But to numerically assess the attractiveness of another male is inherently “Gay”. Like how attractive is Brad Pitt to you…? See my point? 🙂

      • Mike42night says:

        BB23: Disagree it is possible to be attracted but not arroused by someone in this case judging someone on looks scal to size up the competition and helps keeps things in perspective. You can be attracted but not aroused b also someone.

  22. Maxpower says:

    You know I stopped caring what they say back home. All I know is that since leaving US, I have woken up to an alarm clock one time…when I had to wake up after a night out partying, I had to catch a ride to Angeles City to party more. My stress level has gone down to pretty much non-existent. So F**k them. Lol.

  23. Scandibro says:

    The “not getting laid” is proxy for being one or more of: socially awkward, overweight, balding, unskilled labor, few money, no friends, mild mental illness.

    The good thing about Thailand is that you can have one or more of the above and still be able to function in society. Not all. Some of them.

    It’s actually easier to get laid in Scandiland if you’re not a total dweeb and go to the gym once in a while. If however, you have slight mental illness (lets call it being “excentric”) or you’re balding and fat, then good luck with your enuch drone life. Even the people who are “off” in some way are involved in life in Thailand. I like that.

    As the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket says “what’s your major malfunction”? Only you knows that. I know my major malfunctions and work on changing them.

    In the past, people with major malfunctions were still a part of small city life. They’re still so in Thailand, while in the West they are avoided by the plague. That’s why there are a lot of people here who are somewhat “off”.

  24. Harley says:

    I moved to Thailand when I was 19 years (8 years ago now) old and started banging prostitutes straight away. However, i’d pay them only 500b max. Making money online back then was a lot easier SEO wise etc. I never had to even look for a job or something. The women were less spoiled as well, because smartphones were still out of reach to most of them.

    Now things have changed quite a bit. I don’t pay 500b anymore, more likely double as the minimum and could go well up to 2000b for a stunner.

    I can only imagine how it was for guys who came here in the early 2000s. Back then, making money online was already possible. Renting out gameservers was one of the big things back then. You could rent a dedicated server for 250$ per month in Europe and host about 100 game servers on it for 20$ each per month… things like that. You could do that all from Thailand already at the time, but you really had to be a geek. Nowadays, everyone seems to be somewhat of a geek.

  25. John says:

    Harley,

    What are you doing in Thailand now for money? How is the visa situation? I would love to move back to Thailand but I have no bachelor degree to do an ESL job:-/ Funny because I teach English in Taiwan for the last 2 years and they don’t care here about a bachelors.

    • jspill jspill says:

      You can still find esl jobs without a degree. ‘Fun language’ agency employs some non graduates. Or just say you have one, school’s won’t check. Especially with your 2 years experience.

  26. I can’t stand faggots like this. Live and let live is my motto.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/comments/6vgx95/total_loser_sexpat_jspill_talks_about_passing_on/

    Say something, Jspill.

    • jspill jspill says:

      Lol yeah that subreddit had a thread about us before. Backlinks are good, hope they keep making more.

      If you read the description of that subreddit it’s ‘a safe space for those uniquely challenged by being the children of white fathers, and Asian mothers’. Mostly girls.

      Basically a bunch of half Asian chicks who are obsessed with race and think men who like Asian girls or move to Asia must deep down be racist / white supremacist or something.

      The other thread – https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/comments/66x8u4/an_article_written_by_a_sexpat_in_asia_for_other/
      One chick made a huge list of every conservative / right leaning (‘Nazis’ they call them, of course) media personality or blogger who is dating an Asian chick.

      https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/comments/5nafhd/updated_2017_full_list_of_neonazis_altrights/
      Hitler is first on her list because he liked Asians. Other than her own Dad who she doesn’t want to name ^^

      Hope I don’t have a daughter that grows up to be a race obsessed nutcase. In the words of Morgan Freeman, ‘just stop talking about it’ (race). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3cGfrExozQ

      • Marco says:

        Of course you two sexpats NEED to brush this hapa issue off for obvious reasons, but it is a real thing and in general they seem to be the mixed ethnicity with more problems, for whatever reason.
        Especially in fitting in. Especially the males, as they often are physically inferior to their own fathers and suffer for it at a psychological level that grows into deep seated resentment vs the entire phenomenon.

        It’s not a meme and Elliot Rodger wasn’t a one off.

        • Reader says:

          Given that jspill has no plans of ever returning to the UK, I can tell you that there is no real hapa issue in Thailand / the Philippines unless the kid is illegitimate / the father is busto and it’s sent to a peasant school. Chances are they get raised with more resources than locals and somewhat moneyed people that were raised locally generally don’t tend to have the not fitting in issue. No pussy scarcity like in the west and social circles from a certain level are mainly money / social status based with everything else being secondary.

          In the west they simply blame their parents for not getting laid instead of looking at the big picture, which is 90% of guys can’t get laid easily these days and it’s a top 10% game with everybody else getting the scraps or nothing at all.

          • Marco says:

            >no real hapa issue in Thailand / the Philippines
            How many hapas are there in Thailand atm?
            As far as the PI it sorts of looks like Mexico insofar as people with white blood go.
            Also this doesn’t account for their own personal psychology or issues they might develop at a personal level once they’re grown up and especially if they start to get exposed to western media and internet material.
            >No pussy scarcity like in the west
            Are you sure your POV is not skewed a bit by seeing things through the eyes of relatively rich, white, sexpat?

            I’ve talked to Asians online and they seem to be kinda pissed off about the phenomenon of westerners “stealing” women over there.

            Heck even Asian Americans online are livid about “their” women preferring white dudes in the US.

            >they simply blame their parents for not getting laid instead of looking at the big picture, which is 90% of guys can’t get laid easily these days
            Idk what the truth is, I just hear ALOT of vitriol and straight up hatred from POC dudes all over. It seems the “white privilege” propaganda has really made an impression on them.

            I wouldn’t wanna be in the West when I’m old and part of a small minority like it looks like we’re gonna be.

    • southernallstars says:

      they actually quoted me though I don’t post so much here, I feel so honored!
      The problem with these posters is however, they hate us men so much, that they don’t even understand how I mean it and instead immediately apply their old-school feminist theories.

      The beauty of internet is that you aren’t forced to read stuff like that unlike msm, which does reach you somehow….

  27. A. says:

    Honestly I couldnt give two shits about the morons hating on us. Personally, I’ve gotten WAY more replies from women on just TWO Asia sites, including those who message first, than what I’ve gotten in the 7+ YEARS I’ve used dating sites back in the USA. I mean just the ones who messaged me first far outnumber the women I’ve talked to back home who were actually interested. And this is from someone who isn’t into paying for sex.

    Obviously there’s gonna be some problems anywhere you go, but the Western Dating scene is 100% toxic and one-sided. Even the P4P scene in the west is bad.

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