Early Experiences With VietnamCupid – Failed Date

First date in Vietnam

My first trip to Vietnam was for 5 days in early 2016. I started pipelining girls for dates on VietnamCupid a few days before flying from Bangkok to Saigon (apparently no one calls it Ho Chi Minh City).

I’d been living in SE Asia since late 2009 and was spoiled by how easy it is to get laid in places like Thailand and the Philippines. Most girls on ThaiCupid and FilipinoCupid will put out on the first or second date. Many will come straight to your room on day one.

I’d had it so easy that it took me that long to even try out Vietnam. I’d heard Viet girls were more conservative and there were less hooker options if I struck out. I’m also not that into the pale white-skinned Viet girl look.

I’d read it was more of a place for finding a nice girlfriend and just settling down and working on an online business over coffee. Not what I’m looking for at 29.

But I couldn’t avoid it forever. I invested $30 in a VietCupid sub for a new challenge.

Vietnam Cupid Review

When Viet girls say ‘Uhm’ or ‘Ohm’ that means ‘Ok’.

So I messaged a bunch of girls saying something about how their pics looked interesting, and asking for their number. Getting them off the dating site asap is usually the best strategy. The VietnamCupid interface is clunky and you never know when they’re going to log in again.

Download Viber and Zalo (Vietnam’s version of Line) apps as they tend to prefer those to chat. Like other SE Asian girls they don’t mind handing out their number to anyone.

I sent the first girl a bunch of selfies of myself eating Banh mi, walking in Central park etc., to make myself look normal. 50% of communication with SE Asian girls is pics and emojis.

Don’t Invite Them to Your Room So Soon

Viber app

She seemed keen and agreed to meet on Monday. Because I was pressed for time I suggested meeting at my hotel on the pretext that it had a spa.

Then she went a bit quiet, just said ‘I will find it’ and didn’t message again. Whereas a Thai or Filipina would be like ‘ok sure ka’ Viet girls don’t react well if you try to move things to the bedroom too fast.

Then I sent a pic from a nightclub at 3am, second mistake, she never replied to my message after that as long as I was in Vietnam. It was just a generic pic dancing but I later found out good Vietnam girls don’t really go to nightclubs.

Meanwhile girl #2 that I was messaging was very chatty but said she couldn’t meet, had to work, even on weekends. I spammed her with pics as well as soon as I landed, but she didn’t change her mind.

Not making much headway

Again that might have been because I came on too strong and mentioned her staying at my room.

Vietnamese girls are doubly shy about hotels because of the stricter laws. Even if a hotel is girl friendly like mine was (Vien Dong Hotel) the guards will still instantly jump up and ask her for her ID if they see her.

Some hotels have signs up quoting old laws that it’s illegal for a Vietnamese girl to stay in your room if they aren’t married.

Nowadays it’s mostly aimed at prostitutes and you can get away with it with a dating site girl in most hotels if she has her ID on her, but it’s a bit of a buzzkill and she might be embarrassed.

Onto girl #3.

‘How Long You Stay Vietnam?’

Stranger danger

When Thais and Pinays ask this question it’s usually just small talk and doesn’t matter either way. Even if you tell them you’re just passing through on holiday they’ll still bang you. After all you might come back.

Even if you don’t come back they aren’t going to be sitting around thinking oh that foreigner just used me for sex. They’re probably sending pics of you to all their girlfriends giggling about how big your D was.

With Viet girls it seemed a bit more serious. This third girl was reluctant to ‘meet stranger’ and then she went on a long rant about only ‘looking for friendship’.


Some Thais and Pinays will write this kind of thing in their profile to save face in case someone they know finds them, but then in person they’re DTF. Or even if they’re a bit standoffish in chat they’ll still keep messaging you. This Viet girl stopped just replying.

I nexted this one too. If she messaged me again I’d give it a go but she didn’t. It’s not worth pushing it if they’re not being responsive.

If SE Asian girls like you they’ll message you a lot. If they’re not interested they don’t dare say anything and cause a confrontation or make you lose face, so they just go quiet and hope the guy gets the message.

Sent by mail to you

Then girl #4 was cute but seemed ultra conservative, said she had no time for Facebook or any chat apps but if I wanted to ‘keep our friendship’ I could send her loveletters 🙂

Gave me her address and everything.

By now I learn my lesson to take it slow and not to talk about going back to my hotel, and things seem to go well in chat with girl #5, pictured at the top of this post.

She offered to pick me up on her motorbike and take me on a tour around Saigon. Perfect.

Zalo app

Can’t Get Away With Things Like in Thailand

I immediately messed up five seconds into the date.

She messaged me when she was outside my hotel on her bike. I looked out the window and there she was wearing white hot pants and high heels, sitting on her bike with long black hair flowing from her helmet.

Hnnggg. I’d die to get inside those pants. While she’s checking Google maps to plan the route to dinner I whip out my phone and take a creeper pic.

I’d forgotten to put my phone on silent so it makes the camera shutter noise…

She looks up, then back down, not saying anything. I’m pretty certain she heard me taking the photo.

Hours later while at dinner she brings it up, so why did you take a photo of me earlier. Haha. I try to BS some excuse about liking the brand of her motorbike but I’m pretty sure she sees right through me.

These Vietnamese girls are a lot smarter than Thais and Pinays, closer to East Asian girls.

You can’t get away with as much. In Thailand and Philippines I’ve been caught taking photos of girls in the bedroom and the girls just laughed it off ‘hey delete that’ then it was over and we had sex. In Vietnam you need to be more of a gentleman (white knight even).

First Date in Saigon

Sky bar

While driving around giving me a tour of District 1 she pointed out the Financial tower, aka the Lotus Building, saying it’s the highest point in Saigon and has a bar at the top. I said let’s go there then.

She said it’s too expensive and she planned to take me to sit by the river picnic style. I said don’t worry I’ll pay, in my mind if you take a Thai girl to a fancy place like a sky bar and spend more than 600 baht it’s guaranteed sex.

I should’ve just went with her plan but like an idiot I insisted on the sky bar. It ended up being pretty boring and uncomfortable. And 190k VND ($8) plus tax for the cheapest Saigon beer.

I ended up paying 590k ($26) plus tax for a cocktail, her OJ, and a tiny fruit platter and remember thinking Dante would laugh if he could see this.


I was still hungry after that so she drove me around D1 some more to a good streetfood place she knew.

On the way past Ben Thanh market she said ‘don’t buy anything there’. Said backpackers get overcharged there for low quality goods.

These good Vietnamese girls are very savvy with money, she probably thought I was wasteful taking her to that sky bar. In contrast to some Pinays who just expect you to be rich and generous with your cash.

She ordered me bo la lot, minced beef wrapped in betel leaves and grilled over hot charcoal. It’s really good, served with dipping sauces and rice noodles. You wrap them up in rice paper and eat with your hands.

Bo la lot, first Vietnamese dish

She insisted on paying for that, beating me to the bill. Probably only cost like $2 but that was sweet of her.

I liked this girl, she was smart, went to university, beautiful, spoke good English, so I decided I wasn’t going to mess this one up by inviting her to my hotel first date. Instead she gave me a tour of Saigon all night.

At one point riding through D7 she told me her friend dated a foreigner before then later she found out that he had a wife and kids back home. I guess she was feeling me out and in a roundabout way asking me how serious I am about relationships.

I just mumbled something like wow that’s terrible. I don’t think she was convinced. She dropped me off back at my hotel and refused any money for petrol.

Smart girl

The next day is when I ruined it. I knew it was high risk but I only had 4 days left in the country so I went for broke. I invited her over to eat dinner at my hotel.

‘Oh come on’ is something you’d never hear from a Thai girl. This chick was more classy than any girl I’ve dated so far in Asia. And I’d ruined it by trying to bang her on the second date.

After that she went quiet and unresponsive like the other girls. I found her Facebook later on and tried to add her (talk in a different app = second chance with Thai girls) but she didn’t even accept my friend request.

Back to the drawing board with VietnamCupid. I had 4 nights left to get laid in Saigon. Read Part 2 here.

15 Responses

  1. profits101 says:

    these are great posts, there is not even a close second to your blog as far as I know…. (but tell me if there is ha). Vietnam was high on my list, but after seeing how its going, uhhhhh, not so? Only other bad boy that seemed to always have success is Mr. Asian Sex Diary (John Tron I guess haha)… but I think those are all mostly money situations… and I don’t subscribe anymore (too much of the real thing here in Cebu…) but maybe some lessons buried in there with him – he was good about publishing maps and stuff too, and also had a good forum/faq area where you could ask him questions directly. Anyway, great stuff!

    • jspill jspill says:

      Thanks man! After these early fails Vietnam got better. It grows on you the longer you stay there

      Haha yeah I have watched ASD vids funny you mention it I’ll be writing a post on that soon.

  2. BangkokBaller23 says:

    Dude….EXCELLENT post! It’s refreshing to hear you actually see/mention your own “mistakes”. That’s the only way to keep “improving”! 🙂

    ***Great advice: Make SURE the place you stay is “Girl Friendly”. In Saigon many places are not. Although it did help me onetime when the manager rang my room to kick out Viet Coffeeshop Girl 1. Which allowed me to head straight to Apoc after… 😉

    My humble $.02…
    1-Viet Girls are NOT “conservative” (too many quotes already?). But, the want “COMFORT” (trust, feelings for, time invested, etc) with some they are going to F.
    Things that destroy her comfort:
    – Pics of you naked, out at a club, doing something overtly sexual, etc.
    – Invites to the room.
    – Discussion of past relationships.
    – Mention of your stay as short (less than 30 days).
    – ETC.

    Like you said, the average Viet girls IQ is 20 points higher than a Thai’s….50 points above a Filipina. Intellectually, they ARE our equal. Know that going in (too late! :p)

    Suggestions “VietCupid” focused-trips:
    – Stay at an AirBNB (as opposed to hotel)
    – Invest time with them but not $$$. The riding around on the motorbike, and picnic after (perfect to isolate, get the makeout, build trust, etc.) are a great idea to get laid!
    – Tell them you have an online business and will be there 30 days (current visa); but, are applying for a 1 year visa. If anyone is squeamish about telling a 1/2 lie to F a Viet Hottie….on a SEA Mongering site….really?
    – The Viet girls want the “movie” (the fun little moments you have together outside the bedroom) to be exciting and fun. We just wanna jump to the end. She knows the ending….it’s always the same if she wants it. Make the movie enjoyable (which you actually did a pretty good job of! Just the few “mistakes” you mentioned) and she will be looking forward to giving you the ending.
    – After sex, after she leaves, any and all discussions about her-you need to be focused on “Wow! That date was fun! Let’s try and do it again sometime!” Then IF she was good, feel free to indulge. IF she wasn’t….next her.

    Overall, just wanna reiterate YOUR post was $$$$$! Super insightful into the challenges of trying to F a Viet Hottie! Cheers!!!

  3. nightlifeguy says:

    very dedicated blogging to ruin your chance a pussy to get a picture of a leg

  4. thibault says:

    ok vietnam is written off.
    who cares about hot girls that you cant do? to end up frustrated like in a western strip club?
    plus its not about avoiding those mistakes. when girls are bitchy, the potential for mistakes is endless. if it was not that, wou’dbe something else. they ll always find a reason not too if you let them the time. why do you think they re single, after all?
    no i dont go halfway across the world to find myself in a dating situation as difficult as its at home. i can perfectly get rejected in my home town, thank you, dont need any special advice for that.

    • Jobo says:

      Agreed. I prefer my women desperate and hungry. Princess types can hold out to middle age before they realize their life is hollow, empty and over. Fuck Vietnam and its stuck up drama queens.

  5. yellowfever says:

    Vietnam sounds like a great place to live long term to bang some really hot women. Clearly not the spot for a week long bang tour.

  6. dace says:

    She needs me

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