Getting Laid on Sinulog
Most readers already know this, but for those that don’t I am not into partying or discos and have zero clue how to pick up a girl in one. Well over this past weekend in Cebu they had ‘Sinulog’ which basically means half the city is a giant disco, so I didn’t have much choice.
BikiniPhotoSafari Sinulog on Flickr
It’s a religious festival held every year on the third weekend of January. The main day was Sunday but the entire weekend was just nuts. The closest thing I can relate it to is New Years Eve in Las Vegas with no rules.
In Vegas they block the streets off so no cars can go by, in the Philippines cars, jeeps and motorcycles just force their way through streets that are jam packed with people.
Sex on Sinulog
I went out Saturday night and it was wilder than I ever imagined. But it is a weird type of wild. There are hundreds of thousands of people roaming around Fuente Circle, Mango, Colon, and all of the side streets.
But they are basically all in their own little groups with their friends or family. And there are thousands of eyes all around at all times, I literally had no clue what I should do other than my normal number hand out strategy.
I only had about 6 numbers written in my wallet which was not near enough. I handed out all 6 and got two texts. The first was from a girl who lived in Dumaguete but was only here for the festival.
It was 3am by the time she texted me and she was leaving two days later. I pushed for her to come over that night and she said I must be crazy and quit replying.
The other lived here but she wouldn’t come over either. I was going for a ‘hey its Sinulog we should have some fun’ game and it didn’t work. But I wasn’t giving up just yet.
That night when I got home I wrote up 12 new notes for Sunday. This time I went with some different approaches than my usual note and wrote ‘happy sinulog! Want hang out? :)’ Or ‘Happy Sinulog! Want keep partying with me after this? :)’ on them. (always put a smiley imo)
I wanted it to be a bit more to the point like I was trying to get them over that night. I hopped on a jeep and headed up towards Fuente Circle which was a good starting point.
On the other side of the jeep from me was an absolutely beautiful girl. Beautiful faces here are hard to find and I was having a hard time keeping myself from staring at her.
I was giving her my number one way or the other. If she got off the jeep before my stop I would get off also and hop back on the next one that passed by. I had to take a shot with her no matter what.
On the way to Fuente I passed what appeared to be some rave party with tons of people standing outside. I decided I might as well get off there and just slip her the number as I got off.
I have done this before maybe 4 or 5 times, its not something I try often. Only if the girl is worth it and she certainly was. I decided to go with my standard note instead of a quick hook up for Sinulog note because she wasn’t dressed in normal Sinulog attire (half t-shirt and face paint.)
I got off the jeep and stuck my number into her hand as I walked past and went on my merry way.
Now Its On
As I am walking around the parking lot by this rave I see some girl chugging some hard liquor straight out of the bottle, passing it to her friend, and then using a 2 liter of Sprite as a chaser.
That was the moment where I went from ‘OK I am gonna hope to get some tonight if I can’ to ‘I don’t care what it takes, I am a white dude around hundreds of thousands of drunk partying Pinays, if you don’t succeed tonight you are pathetic.’
I handed out all 12 numbers in an hour and went home because it was still early (7pm ish) and there were just to many people out. Lots of families and little kids. I wanted to go back when it was just the right demographic out.
I got a few texts but no real leads. One girl called me and asked if ‘they’ could come to my apartment. I asked who ‘they’ was and she said her and her 6 friends.
Considering most pinays aren’t even down for threesomes I didn’t think an 8sum was gonna go down so I said no thanks. I tried to get her to come alone but she wouldn’t.
I worked for a few hours, ate, and of course wrote up a lot more notes with my number on.
It was still ridiculously crowded but it was much more of the right type of people out at midnight. A few quick observations: first I really hate how sixteen and seventeen year olds can get into discos or be at party places here.
It really makes me apprehensive to walk up to a cute petite girl who may not be of legal age, particularly with thousands of people around.
Secondly I am just amazed how so much chaos doesn’t end badly here. If you took the security away from Vegas on New Years I don’t see any way that there aren’t lots of fights and bad things happening.
But here it is just complete chaos and nothing appeared to go wrong. It is sort of like how most people here are poor, there are no cops around, yet things remain peaceful. Hard to understand how that works.
I was texting with a few but none were down for my dinner and movie invitations. If you wanted to go out and party with them I am sure you could score.
Anyway, I have now handed out my number to 25 girls in the last 24 hours. I am getting texts from random numbers and not having any idea who is who.
I just assume that every girl who is texting me is worth meeting, but somehow one ended up telling me she was a 48 year old single mom. Hmmm, no time for that blocking you, sorry.
Randomly I get a text from a girl who I haven’t texted with in a month. She was a massive time waster who I met at the mall, lived in the province, but was moving here soon because she got a job.
Long story short I spent a lot of time texting her and once she moved here she claimed she was to busy working to meet me. I bitched her out for being a lying user and deleted her. And now she was texting me.
She wanted to meet me with her one friend and was at Fuente also. I ask her to meet me in a spot and she says OK but when she says she is there she really isn’t there.
As I am waiting a girl in a black top walks past who has a pretty face and I give her my number and then go back to trying to find this girl.
She says she is over by KFC so I go stand right in front of the entrance to KFC and ask her to come to the entrance. She says she is just near over to the left and come to her.
There are tens of thousands of pinays out right now and she wants me to walk into the crowd and find her even though I haven’t seen her in 4 months and don’t really know what she looks like.
I start begging and pleading with her, explaining that I can’t find her in the crowd. That I am a single white man standing in front of KFC. I am easy to find, she is not.
So what does she do? She and her FOUR friends (remember she said 1) go stand on the curb 20 feet from me and she quits replying to my texts.
After ten minutes of waiting I notice her (or who I hope is her) standing there and go ask if she is the right girl. Why is it so hard to walk up and say hi?
But it quickly becomes apparent that she just wants me to go to a disco with her and that aint happening. She had said she was going to leave with me, now it’s all changed.
She later told me that those girls were from her province and were staying with her for the weekend. I’m glad I didn’t waste all night with her only to have her go home with them instead of me.
So I left them and looked at my phone and had so many messages from random numbers. They pretty much all were wanting me to go back where I met them (as if I knew…..) and party with their friends.
One seemed more ready to leave with me and after a bit of a hassle she was able to actually come to me. Even though we were quite near I was still impressed after how hard it was with the last girl.
Her two friends stayed back as we talked and she wanted me to go to the disco with them. I was like no come on lets just leave here it’s too crowded. She was saying no but in a no means yes kind of way and I could tell if I applied the right pressure she would come.
She kept saying she couldn’t leave her friends but her friends kept walking off and we had to try and follow. Eventually she said she would come if I asked her friends and they said yes.
Then came a very awkward five minutes that I hated. When we caught up to her friends they were standing 5 feet away from like 50 cops just sitting around outside Mango Square.
For 5 minutes I am trying to get her to move anywhere but there, and her friends are saying you better be good to my friend ha and pretend boxing me.
All the while half the cops are staring at me/us and I am like come on come on come on. Finally she did, we hopped on a motorbike, and banged twice at my place. Success!
Remember the Jeep Girl?
If you had seen her I wouldn’t even have had to ask if you remembered her. But since all you did was read about her maybe you forget.
Well she texted me the next day and agreed to meet me for dinner. However she said too very bad pieces of info. First she lived in the province and was leaving early the next morning so she had to be home early.
Second she wanted to bring her sister who would not join us but would just wait near by. As most know I HATE meeting with friends and that is generally a deal breaker. She was hot enough I would have gladly put in some time and effort with her….. but we didn’t have that time.
Considering the situation I thought I had zero chance with her, it was already 7pm, she wanted to be home early, and I would have to navigate the sister being there problem.
I decided to send her a long heart felt (hehe) text saying how I knew I was rushing things but I had no choice since we only had one night. That I knew she wasn’t this type of girl but maybe we could meet at the mall and then go eat at my condo while her sister waited at the mall nearby if she felt comfortable with me.
I said I hoped I wasn’t offending her….. basically it was a long ramble saying ‘I am sorry for being an asshole but the situation is making me be an asshole.’ And somehow it worked.
We met at the mall, went to my place, watched 15 minutes of American Pie and I had to make a move quick because her sister was waiting.
She put up the standard bit of initial resistance but kisses on the neck can change all that pretty quick. She kept saying she couldn’t believe she was doing this, but that wasn’t stopping her from continuing. Second Pinay banged on Sinulog.
So umm Happy Sinulog! Pit Senyor! (I really have no clue what either of those mean, but I am now a big fan).