Philippines Documentary | Expat Marries Bargirl, Gets Murdered
Steven Alston Davis & wife Evelyn Bohol
I was searching for Philippines documentaries and came across ‘A Murder in the Family’. If you haven’t seen it it’s a true story about British expat Steven Davis who married an Angeles City bargirl, Evelyn. She later had her brother kill him thinking she’d end up with half his money.
The police didn’t want to know about it and the guy’s mother Margaret single handedly got the girl locked up in prison. It took her years and she wrote a book about her experiences with the Philippines legal system.
Margaret Davis & Evelyn
Watching this documentary shouldn’t put you off moving to the Philippines or marrying a Filipina, it’s just a very extreme example of what can go wrong if you pick the wrong girl. As you watch the documentary it’s clear the chick is a total nutcase.
A Murder in the Family Documentary
No one deserves to get shot but he made some mistakes too. Others can learn from the story if they’re interested in dating Pinays or any SE Asian girls. Here’s the documentary and what I take away from it.
The 45 min documentary
Don’t Fall in Love with the First Girl You Meet in Asia
In the documentary Steven’s parents say how he wasn’t very social as a teenager, didn’t go out much, preferring just to stay at home, and was into computers. So not very sexually experienced.
That’s ok (who wants to bang fat UK chicks) but once he got to Asia he should have started playing the field.
A lot of guys when they move to Asia get a girlfriend very fast, and a pretty low quality one. If they’re lucky it ends then they look back years later and think WTF was I doing with her. Your standards rise over time.
That’s what happened to me, I had a Thai girlfriend within 72 hours of moving to Bangkok. She was working in the mall and sold me the first clothes I bought there.
She’s not even that hot imo
She was 31 with a kid and a moustache (that weird fur some Asian girls have on their top lip) I was 23 and had only had five sexual partners in my life at that point. I was happy to be banging anything and capturing my first Asian flag.
I gently broke up with her after 2 months because I went out partying with some more experienced expats, met a bunch of other girls, and realised I could do better. My mate AFarangAbroad did a good post about that saying don’t get a girlfriend in the first 6-12 months.
Steven Moves to Asia
He moved to Hong Kong at 21 years old to work, in 1991, to work for a computer company. His business partners also commented how innocent and sheltered he was.
With a decent salary he should have been out living it up sticking his penis in every girl he could find, both on dating sites and in bars, as academic research. Much later on he started doing that, but way too late after he already married a nutcase and fathered kids.
Partying weeks before his death
At first he was a bit of a introvert. One of his hobbies was flying light aircraft. If he’d stayed in Hong Kong he’d still be alive as it’s a very safe western style country but unfortunately he joined a flying club in Angeles City (lots of former US air force bases in the Philippines).
According to the documentary on his first trip to Angeles he went into a bar, met Evelyn, took her home and paid the bar 500 pounds so she’d ‘never have to return’.
He moved her into his Hong Kong condo and introduced her to his parents right away over the phone. He was upfront that she was a prostitute and told his parents ‘if I can just rescue one girl from the bar life, that’s what I’ve done… I’ve rescued her from that life’.
On sexpat forums this is known derisively as a ‘Captain Save a Ho’. A guy that sees himself as a savior to a working girl.
Marrying a Bargirl?
Many say ‘you can take the girl out of the bar, but you can’t take the bar out of the girl’. It’s a bit of a cliché – it is possible to have a relationship with a hooker, some manage it… it’s just way harder and there are many pitfalls to watch out for.
He shouldn’t have seen himself as her savior, and her as an innocent angel that needed rescuing. If he’d hung out in Angeles a bit longer he’d have realised bargirls are there of their own volition. They could get by with other jobs but want the higher salary of the red light industry, and many enjoy the lifestyle.
Should’ve spent more time at these parties
They are rarely ‘trafficked’ like the Western media portrays. Even this documentary starts going on about bars with girls ‘as young as 12’. I’ve never seen that, but maybe it was different in the 90s.
He should have took it slowly and sponsored her for a while without committing, to see how it goes and how nuts she is. But he married her pretty quickly. He was 27.
It doesn’t say how much time he’d spent in Asia between 21 and 27 (Hong Kong doesn’t count), or how long he knew Evelyn tying the knot, but the documentary implies he married Evelyn pretty fast.
Marry a Girl with Life Experience & Education
Apparently Evelyn was only 17 when he married her. She’d never been to school and ‘struggled to read the marriage vows at the wedding ceremony’.
His business partners say in the documentary how that was questionable judgement. They should have done more to convince him to take it slow, date her for a few years, perhaps send her to university or a trade school (e.g. many hairdressers are ex bargirls).
But he just had her stay at home, basically a sex slave. His parents said Steven ‘felt very safe with Evelyn because he was the provider, he held the purse strings, he felt that she wouldn’t dump him because without him she’d have nothing’.
If you set up a weird psychological dynamic where the girl is dependent on you, they can end up hating you for it. This is what happens later in the documentary.
Listen to Friends & Family
Margaret had a good read on Evelyn from the start, she was weirded out by her body language around her son, the bitchiness and lack of affection Evelyn displayed.
She told Steven she doesn’t think Evelyn is a good fit for marriage, but he was like no she’s the one, I love her, she’s going to be the mother of my kids. So now he’s rushing into having children as well. He had 2 kids with her in the first 3 years.
Evelyn would lie in bed all day not taking care of the kids, they hired a live-in maid. When Margaret complained how lazy Evelyn was Steven told her ‘she doesn’t have to do anything, she’s my princess’.
It’s hard to tell how suitable a partner a girl is when you’re busting nuts inside her and getting that endorphin release from sex. To get an accurate picture you should ask others for a second opinion.
It’s hard to have a good radar for working out if a SE Asian chick is nuts or not, because we don’t grow up around them in school. Likewise girls here will have no idea if you’re a dick or not when they first meet you.
Rocking her new jewellery
Don’t Spoil Girls
Steven got a big house in the most expensive part of AC, and as if that wasn’t enough gave Evelyn a monthly allowance of 1000 pounds (60k pesos), a ton of money even today let alone in 2000.
You can sponsor a Filipina bargirl for more like 20k pesos. Most would be overjoyed with that plus a house. Some guys give girls way too much.
I remember reading in Private Dancer how the more you give them the more they resent you. That’s a work of fiction about a Thai girl murdering her farang husband. When reading it I thought it was a bit sensationalized and over the top… but this Philippines documentary shows how it can actually happen IRL.
Evelyn’s aunt says she started looking down on her poor family and basically became a rich bitch with Steven’s cash. This can happen with ex bargirls who suddenly come into money. They forget their poor past and turn arrogant and spoiled.
Margaret getting suspicious
Look at the Girl’s Family
Evelyn’s family would come to visit at the house, and things would go missing. Pillows, lightbulbs, the rice maker, the water filter, ‘anything they could carry away’. Evelyn would say it’s fine ‘we can buy more’.
The parents were helping themselves to stuff even though Steven was sending them cash, enough to buy them a new fishing boat and house. The only brick house in their village back in the provinces.
How a girl’s family acts – greedy, manipulative – can be an indicator of how your Pinay will end up being like.
When you marry a girl in SE Asia you also marry their family in a sense and are expected to take care of them financially so the family gains ‘face’, and the village sees that they’ve risen in status as a result of their daughter finding a husband.
If the parents are bone idle and sending the daughter off to find a rich foreigner so they can sit back and collect his money through her then that’s a red flag.
Low Class Girls Don’t Like Foreigners as Much as You’d Think
At least Evelyn’s sister was pretty cool, she suspected Evelyn was having an affair and confronted her about it. Margaret suspected it too. Finally Evelyn admitted she was banging some local Pinoy guy.
The most commented article on this blog is the ‘your Filipina girlfriend is cheating’ article. It’s pretty common. Even if you’ve taken a girl out of poverty.
Lower class SE Asian girls (e.g. bargirls) often prefer local guys as opposed to foreigners, even though they’ll tell you the opposite. It’s actually more middle class girls with jobs and an education that are interested in guys from other cultures.
On the phone to her lover
Apparently Evelyn kept making private phonecalls to another guy. Usually they’ll say it’s a ‘brother’ or some other relative but it ends up being the boyfriend.
The ‘Losing Face’ Culture Thing
Even though Steven gave her 60k a month she started stealing other money to give to her Pinoy boyfriend, didn’t enrol their daughter in school and pocketed the tuition fees, pawned their wedding ring, etc.
At this point I’d probably just have taken the kids and moved somewhere far away but Steven ‘still wanted the marriage to work’ even though the sex had dried up. He cut off Evelyn’s allowance and told her to get a job. So now she ‘loses face’ as everyone knows she’s not cashed up anymore.
Steven’s friend warned him to be careful because ‘some of these people are crazy’. To which Steven replied ‘they wouldn’t hurt me because I’m the golden goose’. Again thinking he is some savior.
A few weeks later he was dead. At least he got laid a lot before he died as he started going to bunch of parties with Angeles bargirls who were much hotter.
More from the Angeles parties
SE Asians tend to be either super happy or on the verge of killing you, one of the extremes. They can go berserk and turn violent if they lose face. Westerners are more in the middle.
In Western culture we sort things out openly, maybe have a bit of a shouting match and fistfight and then afterwards laugh about it and become mates. Conflict resolution is head on.
In SE Asia people bottle up their emotions, smile and act like everything’s fine, but if you push them too far they flip out and murder people. Life is cheaper. After a fight they come back with a gang and weapons.
Furious that she couldn’t live a rich princess lifestyle anymore, Evelyn told a gang of local Pinoys that Steven was ‘a millionaire’ and that if he died she’d get a big payday.
Women’s prison inmates
They shot him in his sleep. Weirdly one of them was set free for providing evidence, and appears in the documentary not seeming to give AF. The others went to prison for life and Evelyn got 40 years.
Final thoughts – the vast majority of Filipinos are friendly and kind. Just don’t rush into marrying a girl with emotional baggage and then cause her to lose face, and you’ll be fine. Date a bunch of girls before committing. Don’t throw money around. Listen to friends & family.
- A Murder in the Family Philippines documentary
- For the Love of My Son Margaret’s book
- Evelyn loses 2009 appeal – Philstar.com