Pattaya The Sexpat’s Disneyland

If you go to Pattaya you are sure to have a great time. There are many things to see and do, and many lovely ladies to see and do as well.


Acrobat show on Walking Street

But there are a lot of things about Pattaya that remind me of Disneyland. Actually it is almost uncanny how similar they can be when you start to think about it.

Too Many Selfie Sticks

I heard recently that Disney World was going to start banning selfie sticks because of all the people clogging up the walkways more interested in taking pictures than riding rides.


Well its not quite as bad in Pattaya, but I do see quite a few 40 year old dudes using selfie sticks to take a picture of themselves in front of some random bar.

If you are a 40 year old dude that owns a selfie stick I doubt there are many people looking at your Facebook pics to begin with.

Enjoy The Lines

While you may not notice the huge lines in Pattaya believe me there are people waiting for the best rides. There is one popular massage lady who is very hard to get a turn with.

Why? Because guys hang out at the bar across the street from her shop and once her last customer leaves the first one to notice runs over and gets the next seat on Space Mountain.

One guy on a sexpat message board even said how she let him go down on her and he highly recommended it. I’ll take your word for it bud, I am sure one of the most used up snatches in all of Pattaya tastes delicious!


Think you are the only one that has eyes on the hottest girl in the gogo? Sure she is already getting a ladies drink from a customer but as long as he doesn’t barfine her you will get your chance right?

Well good luck. Considering most gogos only have a few good looking girls the rest of the guys in the place probably have the same goal as you.

And if she really is that hot there is a good chance she is sponsored already and is just a drink slut.

Demand Ruins the Supply

I think I see more white guys under 40 in one night out in Pattaya then I did in a year in Cebu. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if in Ibar alone there are more of that demographic.

And the majority are two week millionaires that don’t realize that paying a cute 7/10 2000 baht ($60) is awful value in Asia. Even many 5’s and 6’s on Beach Road won’t budge for under 1000 baht now.


Every time I went to Disney World I was a bit underwhelmed by the rides. Outside of the aforementioned Space Mountain and Splash Mountain the rest were always pretty weak.

But it’s Disney World so you are paying twice as much then you would at other amusement parks.

Can’t Afford To Stay Too Close

I remember when I last went to Disney World we had to stay a bit away from the action and take some tram in because all of the hotels right there were super expensive.

Well if you want to rent a condo in Pattaya you need to look out towards Jomtien or even farther to get good value. And instead of the tram take the baht bus (I’m not hating on the baht bus! It is one of the best parts about Pattaya.)

What I am getting At….

They both are cool, but they both are overrated. You will have fun at both, but you can get much better value in many other places.

You should definitely try to go to both at least once in your life. And if you do remember to take a bunch of selfies otherwise no one else may believe you were really ever there.

10 Responses

  1. Monger jones says:

    I live in Pattaya and 2000 is a pretty standard amount. When I was in bkk 3-4k standard.

    What’s do you mean by bad value in Asia? Where in Asia can I bareback cream pie a girl I just met and have her ‘take care’ for less than that. Sure you can haggle with 35+ year old washed up massage ladies for blow jobs but I’m talking hot young 18-22 yo girls.

    Please let us know where this good value place is.

  2. kick2dante kick2dante says:

    generally arent having to pay $60ish in phnom penh, snooky, many places in the philippines if you dont go to a few specific overpriced hooker discos

  3. jspill jspill says:

    Dante places less value on time, he’ll spend hours to find a lower price, and never pays barfines / lady drinks, he’ll pound the streets for hours looking for the cheapest freelancers. And less value on the ‘take care’ aspect / GFE as some call it.

    Cambodia isn’t a great example for value if you want GFE, they tend to just lie there and don’t really get into it, don’t like BJs, don’t give much GFE, they’re rushing to get it over and done with. I guess if you only care about the dollar amount that it cost you, it’s better value.

    Thailand is probably the best value if you don’t have much time, you can just walk into a bar/gogo and barfine a hot girl and get great GFE / take care/ bareback/creampie quite often. Philippines barfines are more expensive, sure you can find a great freelancer but it takes time. In Indonesia it’s going to be condom + not much GFE in the sex clubs. Vietnam, not good for P4P. Cambodia not many hot bargirls.

    Dante will walk around hoping to bump into a hot girl while she’s outside the bar so he can hand her his number, or while she’s in a disco with no entrance fee after work, or while she’s on her way home late at night. But by that time some of the hottest girls will have been taken.

    • -cam says:

      Why doesn’t he sponsor girls. From a third party perspective this seems like the best solution. Pay her a couple hundred a month + a couch to sleep on. She can save you money/time by cooking, cleaning, massages, ect. When you want to mix things up she can pretend to be a maid/friend/whatever or just see a movie. Am I missing something?

      • jspill jspill says:

        Gets bored quickly, mostly only wants to bang a girl 1 or 2 times. Needs variety.

        I wouldn’t want a girl living with me full time either, it’d drive me nuts. Tried it once, I usually sleep well into daytime hours and am awake late at night, she was the opposite so she was making noise while I was asleep.

        • kick2dante kick2dante says:

          definitely dont want a girl living with me/around all the time

          • -cam says:

            I wouldn’t either unless I can find some way to keep them occupied. I was hoping giving her a tv and phone would work, but that’s probably unrealistic haha

        • -cam says:

          I know what you mean… Whenever I spend more than a few hours with a women (not fucking) in a row I start to go crazy. I was just hoping that I could just give them some chores and a tv to watch and they’d leave me alone for most of the day, but the young and hot ones probably would rather be partying and doing stuff than sitting around. It’s just a fantasy… us guys can’t have it all. It’s one of those pick two situations: peace and quiet, availability, a good girl. You can have availability/peace but you are going to be dealing with a pro/semi-pro/or a slut which have their own risks/costs. You can have availability and a good girl but then you have to deal with her/you might get bored. The reason the male sex drive is so strong is because our ancestors that were not horn dawgs realized the huge pain that women are and failed to reproduce cursing the rest of us with insatiable lust. Anyways I digress. Once I get over my STD phobia I’m probably going pick peace/quiet and availability. There’s no perfect solution but a few regular Giks, semi-pros, pros, and the occasional pick-up will have to do

  4. Ted Barebasksi says:

    The bad part about searching hours for the cheapest is that the quality probably takes a dive. All the hot ones are busy inside bars and agogos – not wandering around the streets.

    • kick2dante kick2dante says:

      if you are on a short trip i would agree, when you live here you can have a lot more patience

      i am perfectly fine going home 3 nights in a row getting nothing…. with no sense of urgency i dont have to force anything i dont really want to do

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