Last Weekend in Cebu
I don’t usually like to meet up with people from the internet. For one I am not a fan of ‘going out’ and don’t want to invite some dude over to my place.
I also am just awkward as hell when I do go out and don’t want to weird up someone else’s night. But from time to time (since I am such a big deal) people offer to take me out.
I generally say no, but I have given a few this great honor and every time it has gone well. They always offer to pay but lucky for them I don’t drink and am a super cheap date. I could probably milk some value out of it but never do.
Waterfront Shuttle Bus
Well just before my last weekend in Cebu I got a message on a poker forum from a guy who I have chatted with for years who has always been helpful and kind.
Most people on the internet are keyboard warriors. So when I meet that rare forum poster who has been nice consistently for years I am a bit curious about them.
Anyways he had said he was going to be in Cebu and has offered to take me out if we were ever in the same city and did so again. I told him I was flaky as fuck (true) but would do my best.
Well he picked the perfect day. I have just started playing poker again and today the poker site I play on was down. Of course it didn’t start messing up until I was in 2 turbo heads up sngs against a fish and he stole all my blinds.
Then I sat in a big game while the site was shaky as can be (genius) because there was a huge fish dumping a lot of money. It was worth the risk of a disconnect only because he was so bad. But I never got any of the hundreds he gave away.
Played Some Live Poker
My online work is slow on Saturdays and poker is shaky so I ask him if he wants to try and get some live PLO going. He’s a poker player too and wants to play some while in town.
He is also a baller and is staying at the Waterfront but tilts me when he says he didn’t book through my Agoda link :(.
Poker room at the Waterfront
I haven’t played live poker in 3 years, but I have no other way to earn today so might as well. I head up there and the game is 25-50 (.55ish-$1.10ish) which is pretty small.
He has told me that he has a friend with him. Later I come to find out this friend is a girl. A hot girl in a sexy black dress with full exposed back and a little side boob showing walks in and he follows and sits down next to me.
I am glad that they only got 25-50 going instead of 50-100 like I was hoping for because within 45 minutes I flop the nut straight on Q98cc and go all in and a bare K hi flush draw calls and obv rivers a flush. PLO will PLO.
He finishes up playing and I go around the casino and over to IT Park to try and hand out some numbers cuz I always must be maximizing my time. I rarely give my number to Koreans but there is a hot one.
I go in for an approach and her boyfriend walks up at the same time and I retreat. He looked at me and knew what was up. Then in IT Park I walk past an 8 and a 7.5 but right as I get a good approach spot they go into a resto and meet their friends.
Things are going just great so far this day. Lost in online poker cuz the site goes down when I have a fish wanting to play many sngs, lost live when sucked out by a fish, and every girl I am about to approach gets ruined at the last second.
Off To Mango
Being that he is only in town for one weekend night he really wants to go out tonight, and in Cebu that means we are going to Mango Square. I am not a fan but still go from time to time. Saw this hot chick dancing:
When chatting with this guy I have made some jokes about hooking up with his girl and he has said it was fine. Even said he wouldn’t mind if she slept at my place when he gets another girl.
But when they walk out of the Waterfront holding hands I realize that ain’t happening. We get to Mango and first go to one of the open air bars outside with a live band.
At the table next to us are three girls one of which is quite cute and is facing me. In 15 minutes she had to make eye contact with me 7 times.
She did not give off hooker vibes but it is Mango and you never know. However this was not really a hooker bar at all so I am assuming not.
I can’t just sit in one place so as they drink I get up and take a lap around Mango but don’t see anything. When I get back they say they are ready to go and on the way out I slip the girl my number without saying anything.
O Yay Discos!
Now it’s time to go into some discos. I hate discos but he is paying my massive $2 cover charge so might as well. I tell them that the two best are ‘J Ave’ and ‘Holic’ and recommend Holic first because there are less hookers there.
We go in and instantly I am like wtf am I doing here. We finally get a table……. right next to a girl I banged a month or two ago off PinaLove who makes a big scene about seeing me even though she is with some Filipino dudes.
They chill at the table and I go walk around looking for girls to give my number to. I use the same hand my number to girls at discos because I have NO clue what to do in a disco.
How do you pick up a girl in a disco? Walk up and scream in her ear? It was this loud:
My disco game may be the worst on the planet. I just walk in a few circles and go home.
Every time I go out to ‘walk a lap’ around I go past the girl I banged last month and pinch her butt hehehe. They don’t like the place because it is a really young crowd (I don’t blame them) so now we head to J Ave.
J Ave is the place I have felt racism against me more than anywhere else. It is rare for a white man to feel racism but most of the girls there only want Koreans. It is a hooker disco and the whole Korean 3-3-3 (3 inches 3 minutes 3 thousand pesos.)
I have got the coldest rejections in there of any place I have ever been. But I am a trooper and they want to go so we go.
Being a Saturday night it is quite packed. As we wait for our initial drinks the girl he brought is leaning over on the bar. I have just a perfect side boob view and had to talk myself out of taking a creeper video of it. Sorry guys.
They go stand around a table (which is what people do at discos…… again I don’t understand how this is fun) and I get bored every few minutes and go walk a lap.
First lap I see a Korean girl with two other Korean girls dancing by herself by her table. As I pass I slip her my number and move on.
Then I go back to them and I see a really hot girl in a long tan dress. I don’t even tell them I am leaving I just go to follow her…. and she disappears in the crowd.
I go outside where I am more in my element and pop back into Holic.
As I walk in the first girl I gave my number to is walking out. I tell her to text me and she says she will tomorrow. (As I write this she texted me wishing me a good nights sleep <3)
As my loop in there is closing I see three girls going to the bathroom, one of which I noticed earlier. I quickly hand her my number without even saying anything and head back to J-Ave.
When I get back to J-Ave I notice that two tables over from us is a really hot girl who might be the hottest girl in the place (though I still liked tan dress.) She is clearly with a young expat but I am keeping my open for a good approach at all times.
I go walk a lap and hand a number to a solid 8 standing at the bar who doesn’t really wanna take it but I keep insisting until she does. This one will lead nowhere assuredly.
I get a text from a random number and it is the girl from Holic that was on her way to the bathroom. My first question is ‘how old are you?’ Cuz you gotta be careful at Mango and she thankfully says 19.
We text for a bit and I invite her to hang out but she says not then she is with her friends. I ask if she is having fun dancing and she says she doesn’t dance and I say thats to bad cuz I bet she looks so sexy dancing.
Then the people I am with say they are ready to leave, I look up and the hot girl 2 tables over is facing me and her man is facing the other way so I quickly hand her my number on the way out.
A Second Chance
So as I am outside waiting for them to join me I see the tan dress but she is with a Korean guy. I point her out to the guy I am with and try and talk the girl into distracting him so I can slip in but she doesn’t want to :(.
He wants to go take a closer look so we move over to them and they go to sit at the table. My buddy is like sorry but no chance now lets go.
Except the guy didn’t sit he just stood next to her and they were talking. And then he walks back to the bar to get their drinks and I sprint over like Usain Bolt and we head off to some girly bars down the road.
In the girly bars he wants to get a girl to come sit with us but I ask him not too cuz I am awkward as fuck in girly bars. He has the waitress call over all the girls and I let the girl we are with choose. Took this video of the lineup:
Sadly the hottest girl was already taken by some Korean guys next to us. She had some massive boobs and I may have to stop by in the next few days to give her my number.
So after we see the ‘lineup’ the girl joins us and its even more awkward then I imagined. The girl doesn’t stay long and I don’t even really try to talk with her. Even if I could get her to come over after her shift or something she would want more than I am willing to pay a 7.
I get a couple more creeper videos in the bar and then its time to go. I really was always looking for a chance to slip my number to the hot one with big boobs but the guy she was with was all over her.
They did hop on stage (including the Korean guys):
The hot one is in pink but I am not sure I got a great view of her.
We try a couple more bars but its really late and they are all closed. That was about the end of the night. On the way home I got a text from the girl in Holic who asked me to delete her number because I said I bet she looked sexy when she was dancing lol.
It was a pretty crappy days in some ways and a pretty fun day in some others. Thanks again for paying my covers into the discos that I hate 🙂