Beach Date With a Thai Girl | Koh Lan Snorkelling

Koh Lan

Thai girls love to take a trip to the beach so it can be the key to banging a date who’s playing hard to get. Same for the Philippines where the beaches are a bit nicer.

Flaky Asian girls might be slow to go to your room or not that interested in a dinner date – many Thai girls only really like their som tam which they can get anywhere and eat on the floor at home.

Arriving at Koh Lan

I Take You Beach Na

But suggest a beach getaway somewhere and she’ll get in the romantic mood. They love taking pics and know you’ll pay for everything. Then being alone with her in a hotel room follows naturally.

I also bought a Go Pro to increase my no. of bangs. Every Asian girl wants high res pics of herself and underwater selfies.

The things we do for sex

Around festival times like Songkran (mid April) Thai dating sites go insane. Girls have several days off work and go online to find guys who’ll take them on a trip.

Or Loy Krathong day (November) which requires going with a guy. That one is colloquially called wan sia dtua, ‘day lose body’, the day that girls put out.

Koh Lan boat hire

Beach + go pro + festival is a killer combination. Thailand has lots of one day national holidays too so girls might have a three day weekend.

Beaches Near Bangkok

Cha Am, Hua Hin and Koh Lan are my go-tos as they’re the closest decent beaches to Bangkok. I’m lazy to get on a plane to Phuket.

Ferry to Koh Lan from Pattaya

I use Cherry Taxi Service for $35 door to door private car service, you can get there and be checking into your hotel in about 3 hours. For Koh Lan its an island next to Pattaya so you have to get on a ferry as well.

That’s where I took this ThaiCupid date. She was an university student and changed the subject every time I’d invite her to my room, maybe too shy. A holiday romance solved that.

Attached go pro to selfie stick

Koh Lan Snorkelling

What I like about Koh Lan (also spelt Koh Larn) is you can hire a boat from the main pier, go out to sea to coral reefs for snorkelling and slide off the top deck into the water.

They have an ice box loaded up with beers and mango.

Boat slides

They’re relaxed about wearing a lifejacket which is cool too. I once went to a Navy run beach island – Koh Kham – where a soldier swam out to tell me it was the law to wear a lifejacket. At a depth of like 2m.

The coral reefs aren’t that impressive though. Thai beaches aren’t that well maintained.

Koh Lan snorkelling

There’s no hookers on Koh Lan unlike Pattaya, no bars, gogos, clubs or discos just hotels and beaches of different qualities.

Hotels start at 500 baht ($15), local food about 50 baht a dish or more if you get it delivered to you at your deckchair. Motorbike hire 200/day or there are 20 baht songthaews that go around the island.

Catch me!

Just a sleepy island pretty boring and not that picturesque but a cheap date. Total cost about as much as barfining a gogo girl at Soi Cowboy.

I’ll put up some posts on Hua Hin and Cha Am at some point. Hua Hin has a bit of a mongering scene although most bargirls there aren’t hot.

Heading back to hotel

Best Koh Lan Hotel

I stay at Suntosa Resort. It’s the nicest hotel I’ve seen there (Koh Lan hotels aren’t great), easy to get to a short walk from the pier where the ferry drops you off.

If you get the sea view room for a bit more (~$60) you’re pretty much guaranteed to get laid.

Sea view superior room

Nicest restaurant is by the pier at night at the Lareena resort which is also a decent hotel.

I got the sweet and sour fish and hoy tod which is this a crispy omelette with oysters and friend mussels. One of my favorite Thai dishes and an aphrodisiac.

Hoy tod (left)

Hoy is also slang for vagina. Thai girls love dirty jokes so you can crack one to loosen her up.

Here’s the rest of the pics I took.

It’s a dog’s life

Pattaya pier

Entrance to Koh Lan

Her friend loving the Go Pro too

 Next time you’re finding a dating site girl tough to crack, suggest to ‘bai tiow‘, take a trip.

6 Responses

  1. Akog says:

    2 more years and i can go

    I’m dying here haha

  2. Jack says:

    Seems like a very expensive way to get laid. Looks fun though.

  3. -Cam says:

    Exactly it’s a great way to get them in the mood for a raw dog creampie 😉

  4. RumandCokeMan says:

    Looks fun. More cool sidetrips only locals or regional vets like you and Dante know about like this make for some great blog posts.

  5. Manila Expat says:

    Looks like fun! I always preferred Ko Samet myself. A bit of nightlife on Hat Sai Kaeo, but still a small quiet island. Always like to rent a 4 wheeler and show girls around the island. It was better (like everything was better 10 years ago right) before the Chinese tour groups discovered it 5 or 6 years ago.

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