Insomnia / iBar Review, Pattaya | 2016 Prices
For those that aren’t aware the main nightclub for picking up prostitutes in Pattaya is Insomnia / iBar. Upstairs is the loud fistpumper disco (Insomnia), downstairs is the more laid back hang out bar (Ibar). There are stairs inside connecting the two and they use the same VIP card.
Pics via Club Insomnia Pattaya Fan Page
This is considered to be the best venue to meet freelancers in Pattaya. Think High Society in Angeles City. I normally hate hooker discos but since it’s such a good pickup spot and you can get away with not buying a drink, I take a stroll through basically every night when I am in Pattaya.
In my month there I think I went in 26 or 27 nights. I did the same the last time I was there 3 years ago.
I saw 2 girls I had banged on my previous trip. 3 years is a long time and it made me sad to see one of them (the other was kind of a bitch) who had been my regular go to girl on the last trip.
My last time here I remember walking up to girls and saying ‘want come my room’ and they would say yes most of the time. 1000 for short time was the price and only a few asked for me. The one that became my regular asked for 1500 for multiple pops the first time, but from then on came for 1k.
Prices Going Up
This time round in 2016 it seemed that 1500 Baht ($42) had become the standard short time price, at least for any of the desirable girls. My problem is I don’t really find Thai girls attractive (except for the super hot ones) so I don’t feel like paying $40 (or double what I would pay in the Philippines) to girls I don’t find hot.
They have really nice bodies, or at least they are in shape and not fat. But their faces generally do nothing for me. After my first few days of ‘omg these stomachs are so incredible’ had died down I realized I wasn’t too attracted to most of ’em.
I pretty much approached every attractive girl in the place in my first week there. I got their Lines and would invite them over in non peak hours. At 2am they have a chance to snag a big fish and get a real payday. At 9pm before they head out they are more likely to come for less.
For the first two I didn’t discuss price and this was before I had known that prices had gone up. I told them through Line that I just wanted a quick blowjob and they would only be in my place for 20 mins.
I even said ‘I am not sure if what I pay you will be enough, but its easy money ok’ and they both said OK. I gave them 600 when they left and both were fine with it. One of them (the hotter one) came over 4 times, the other I never invited back cuz she was less attractive than I remembered her being.
I got another girl for 1k for 2 BJs and she actually came home with me that night because she said she had to go to BKK the next day. I then saw her back at iBar every night that week.
She knew the price before she came, we got along great. She was horny and tried to talk me into fucking the second time. She said she always made guys wear condoms and I asked if I would have to wear one and her reply was: ‘are you clean?’
So no, I wouldn’t have had to wear one. But she gave really good head and I don’t fuck in hooker cities. She would never come back over which surprised me.
She would see me out and say hi and chat and give me a hug, but when I would invite her over in Line she wouldn’t reply. I even upped my price and she wouldn’t come.
She lived in Jomtien just past my place and we talked about how she should stop by on her way to Walking Street, she said ya, and then wouldn’t. Hmmm……
Come Party With My Friends!!!!
I was surprised at how much of this I got from the iBar girls. This is one of my main annoyances with Filipina hookers and I don’t really remember it happening at all last time I was in Thailand.
But this time quite a few wouldn’t come to my room unless I went up there and partied with them in iBar first. Most reading this already know I am not gaming a hooker.
In iBar there is much more of a party with my friends and maybe go with a guy if I feel like it vibe then upstairs. It exists for some girls in Insomnia, but I think girls up there are more money hungry (but generally less attractive also.)
I would see many of these girls there every night at 4am, I would try to go when there was spill over from the go-go’s (more on this later) so went really late. If they are there that late and not making out with a dude they are probably going home alone.
Maybe Thai hookers aren’t as quick to make a buck as I used to think.
Same Faces Different Day
This is really what shocked me the most about the place. After a week there I felt like I had already seen every freelancer in Pattaya. It is a much much smaller scene then I ever expected.
That spill over effect with the go-go girls coming in after their shift…. not so much. The same girls were there at 2am as were there at 4am. Or if new ones were coming in they weren’t hot enough to be noticed.
The times that I did notice hot go-go girls in there they were with guys that had already barfined them and were off limits. I even started to pick up on seating patterns and could predict which girls would be at which table before I went in.
In a city with so many hookers I am still pretty shocked at how small the player pool was here. And to be honest how little talent there was.
Too Many Young White Dudes
This is what just kills Thailand for me. There were times where there were more young white guys in iBar then I would have seen in 2 months in the Phils.
They are young, they are dressed nice, they are on vacation and think that buying drinks for a girl all night and then giving her 2k baht for sex is great value (because for anyone living in the western world it is.) I don’t wanna compete with that.
As much as I am trashing on iBar and Pattaya in general I can understand it from the girls perspective. They have loads of tourists coming through throwing money around.
Guys that will party with them and pretend to pick them up so they can go on tricking themselves into not being hookers. And then here I come in a $2 t-shirt and ask for their Line is and lowball them to suck me off.
If I were them I wouldn’t go with me either. Well if I really knew that it would be 600 baht to be in my room for 20 mins or less then I would. But I would never give it a shot to try it out and confirm.
LOL @ Them Having DJs
To be fair this isn’t only an iBar/Insomnia thing, this is how it is at every disco/bar I have gone to in Asia. They have some dude stand up in the DJ booth and pretend he is spinning while they have the same CD on repeat for a month.
I did get one just surreal out of body experience out of this. I was making my first lap around iBar and I got my first ever chance to listen to some awful ‘she used to call me on my cellphone’ song. R&B at its worst.
As I am walking around the first thing I see is some 25 year old tall blonde dude getting totally into this terrible song and singing it to the hooker that he will pay 2k to in the morning.
As I walk past the next table a guy and his hooker he will pay 2k to in the morning are putting their hands up to their ears like they are phones and pretending to talk to each other along with the song.
This entire lap around the place was just me seeing douchebags at their most douchebaggiest level and it was perfection. If I could go back and record anything I have witnessed over the last year it would certainly be that lap.
Then I got to listen to this song another 20ish times over the next month and it was basically always stuck in my head. Thanks iBar.
And now that I search Youtube to share this wonderful musical masterpiece with my readers I find out its a Drake song. Even worse.